Lost in the faraway

The conjuring dreams.
Of moments in time.
Love lost on your lips.
Your hand in mine.
Kicking this cactus heart around.
Fresh like mint on my tongue.
Calling you out of the clouds.
Out of my bones that feel as heavy as China.
One of those falling dreams.
Like you’re here.
But still gone.

Assuming such regret

Shaking while the structures fell.
Watching as the house burns.
Departure seemed the only possibility.
But what caused us to remain.
Clearing up the wreckage, counting the shards of the moon we forget we stole.
Little parts of yourself that clung with the moon dust.
What ambivalence we had for time.
Laughing in the face of it while the world spun.
Now a suitcase filled with memories aches to be moved.
And all talk of solo flying ruffles these steel feathers.
How can I remain while you plan on deserting me?
The orchids weep in the face of such kinetic air.
A tolerance, only from afar.
Little familiar fingers bring words to mind.
Dramatic embarrassments in the downturn of something hopefully.
A future love, packaged and boxed; sent out into the world.
We wear the familiar on our sleeve, little desperations join the others that weight into the world.
A first white flag raises with the new dawn.
And our name-tags turn to you and I.
Strangers wishing to join the others, and the multitudes of our successors.
Blaming the past for never finding god in the like-minded sorrow.
Who promised the world, and only received tomorrow.

Once never here

Mind and muscle try to escape gravity.
Standing too soon.
Trying to lift off into the unknown.
Far away from here.
Hanging onto nothing but indecision.
You close your eyes to the jet stream, and that fear of falling.
You feel it now in your veins.
Coursing through the difference like a teenager.
Struggling for understanding.
But they could never see. They would never know.
Eager to cover you in un-precious stones.
Which is why you must leave.
To sail on the solar winds that taste of honey.
Forget the palatableness of decay.
For a distant shore will feel sweeter.
Than this rocky edge of adolescence.

Gave your ghost

This stillness suffocates.
Gasping for the scent of redemption.
We gave up a life for love.
A family for faith.
We’d trade it all to be back again.
Slowly moving in still frames, able to undo.
You pick your own ghost, holy or hallowed.
Watching over in these times of solitude.
Dead as the graveyard that occupies your mind.
There is no sound, only the wind.
Breathing through you like a howl of opportunity.
But the tombstones mark where your dreams are buried.
Long forgotten and eroding in time.
The view from the tree blurs as you swing.
Rotting strange fruit filters in.
You picture a younger self, a body waiting to be consumed.
Eager for that bark of acceptance to grow.
Yet truth peels.
Now you long to be alone with that former self.
For you never knew anyone who could love thee.

Leave us where we lay

His heart, now the colour of his wife.
Ashen grey and broken.
The urn smashed, scattering them both across the clouds.
Little flecks of life stuck on the window of the world.
As the volcanoes rumbled and the gods groaned.
Down they both came in the rains.
Licked up by the wood spirits and the humans below.
Pooling in the heart of the world.
Cells and shells, finding the seabed of the soul.
Undulating to sound of time.
Those tears of the gods which fell in this passing.
Are drunken only by the sinners, like sweet wine.

Je Suis Désolé

Down deep, beyond the rib-cage and the flecks of pride.
Lies a guilt, heavy like the tear from god.
It sits silently, weighted by time.
How many grudges have been held?
Placed on this mantel, pride of place.
These bones, once hollow, fill now with coal.
Snap them, and dust will fill your lungs.
Worse than tar, the blackness invades.
It blankets my body inside and out.
Layering over the precious stone of apology.
Sorry.
What a treasured word.
Seemingly too short, it should feel longer.
Spoken like a heavy prayer that presents its importance.
I am sorry.
Now with ownership and agency.
For time is precious, as are these tears.
Bled out in true remorse.
I am sorry for you, what has been done.
Sorry that the past cannot be un-spun.
An apology that starts with me, back in the beginning.
Rolling back time like pages in a book.
Each one filled with the ink of the soul.
And this apology ends with you.
For what is to occur next, in a breath of a life waiting to exhale.
In the unwritten, yet contrite touched pages of my skin.
That keep my sorrys within.

Constraint

Traded in for bruises that fade.
Caught between fists that flurry.
But if you could see yourself.
What control has been sacrificed?
Rolled over into shame.
Mastered nothing but regret.
This secret life, lost in your dreams.
What does any of this mean?
Domestic in the normalising.
Abused yourself by remaining.
Worried now, they know it all too well.
Pull the blind down and shut your eyes.
Count to ten.
As the clock ticks closer to midnight.
And you look a little more worried.
A solitary cry in the night.
From a boy mirroring the wolves.
At your door.

Swallow

Make me shiver into a moment.
While this stuff dances on our eyelids.
Fold us away into time dapples of space.
Sleep, and dream of the moment intertwined.
Each minute hung in your mouth like candyfloss.
Every second evaporating the darkness with your neon kiss.
I want to taste you forever.
Licking your soul into nothingness.

Light

The light in a teardrop, approaching.
Destroying the dark that sits like soil on your cheeks.
A wrecking river of black, dispelled by a single candle.
That single effort of change.
Who knows how small the room is when the lights are off.
When the darkness wins.
Yet each day the universe contracts, birthing out the sun.
Raining down solar tears to burn away the oil.
Speckle me now with Aztec gold hidden in the sky.
A craved warmth and a touch from god.
Too long in the cold and dark, we’ve become skeletons to sadness.
Choking on soot and solitude.
My eyes wish for radiation, to burn away the memories.
Of a time and state that held me prisoner.
We now feel such rapture in the knowing.
That nothing lasts forever.

Rush

Humbled, caught in such rapture.
Clinging to joy like a root to a tree.
No longer myself, yet loved still.
Understanding fate’s anatomy.
Chaos now silenced, calm like a church.
We pray in the days that unfold.
Burning them fully like candle wicks of life.
Threatened each day by the wind that is blowing.
From mouths that don’t know how to kiss.
How to love.
Let the world caress, and slice you deeply.
Allowing the wonder-kind to slip in.
Soaking in the blood, underneath your skin.
For these are days of letters unsent.
Of feelings unkempt, not knowing how to unfold.
Now time is falling like sand in a jar.
Borrowed, like a promise never meant to be kept.
And tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Splinter in the soul

We too think we are owed something.
Predisposed to hope and to challenge fate.
Satellites that sweep and coat our hearts with stardust.
Yet life proves us wrong.
Finding only that cycles are cruel.
And others are fundamentally selfish, devoid of right and wrong.
On my heart, are but scars.
Cracks and grooves dug deeper over time.
Trenches of pain valleying, in memories.
As this body craves for a survival, in a world that shuts it out.
And a mind that crashes to understand.
How far we have come.
Whilst the eyes of god close.
And the age dissolves into the past.

Subside & soar

Falling down the waterfall, shaken out of grace.
Sliding, spiraling and collapsing. Leaving nothing but a trace.
Tumbling down speedily, in disgust from your eyes.
Crawling out of this bitter, purgening demise.
Escaping into nothingness, fleeing into dreams.
Tasting the fruit of freedom. Splitting from the seams.
Moving now a certain way, to expand these wings.
Unfurling fraying feathers, precious aerodynamic things.
Falling once again, from ledges beyond time.
Saying goodbye to shadows, and the ghosts that haunt this mind.
Realisation of collapse, braking bark from the knowledge tree.
Not a sad solitary boat of sand, on your egotistical sea.
I fully bow out, take my leave now and resign.
Plunging into tomorrow knowing, I must fall to begin the climb.

Glass black box

A vibration stems from the soil, creeping up the path.
Into the bones and the brains, a humming remains.
What stains the insides like a smear of the past.
Just memories and bits of self.
I buried it all as the clock thundered.
As the skies exploded in a sea of lightening.
Veins cracking the heavens like the strikes across my eyes.
The box is glass and fragile.
The contents heavy and sad.
Black like tar and the sticky oil of failed dreams.
Colour is not needed, for no one is to see.
To bury is to put aside.
Covering it with mother earth who dies a little more each day.
Who will find it? I do not know.
But it lays there now, like my ashes will one day.
A pound of flesh, and tears of regret.
The cinders of wishes that were wasted.
Inside the box they can cry together.
Silently, as those above do not care to hear.
So with this lightened heart I move.
From the pines to the eucalyptus air.
Stumbling across the sands, where I fear other boxes may dwell.
Waiting to be smashed apart.
Or cracked like the fragile glass hearts of tomorrow.

Sweet dreams

Quiet, shhh; let the dreams take hold.
Block out the hurt, the noise and the cold.
Drift into the world of the never before seen.
A place where neither you nor I have been.
Those stories will unfold like the tail of a fairy.
Some of them tall, colourful and scary.
With places that can hide you when life gets too much.
Where you are brave and beautiful; and no longer touched.
Here is freedom wrapped in a space.
A wonderful illusion of time in a place.
So let the dreams now explode in your head.
All from the apparent safety of your bed.

Lost illusions

Fold the world into silence.
Mute the lava that runs through our core.
Bubbling into frantic action.
When anger shows.
So many lives, repeated like a failing student.
Brought back time and again, yet never the same.
Lessons drip from these eyelids.
Lies smother the eyes of such hopeful.
Innocence trapped in ice.
Drop these illusions like a weight of the moon.
Flung out into the cosmos, only to orbit your world.
God eclipses such distant.
Love replaces the fear of the known.
Nobody knows what is yet to come.

Empire

A moment, while the construction lifts.
As the walls do fall, and earth does shift.
I see the world confined in your eyes.
A future tale, where light does hide.
And in that breath you kill completely.
Decaying past, swept up so sweetly.
That now I raise our love much higher.
My new religion. Our new empire.

Bestowed

Your voice, it calls me higher.
Cracking this concrete world which tethers me at times.
The challenge in arriving, with a heart still heaving.
Shaken to the core, for the love you try to give.
You turned away, and I was lost again.
A return settles in my soul.
With eyes that learned to love again.
And hands that try to heal.
Don’t speak to me yet, for I may shatter.
Listening to such sweet benediction.
From lips I wish to meet, and taste again love’s magic.
These expecting steps, lead me further.
As I clumsily tumble into now.
You say you want me, and the moon begins to weep.
As you being to wash away my sadness.
Kissing the scars, some made by you, in low starlight.
Skin to skin.
Drenched now in honey within.
Sweet sparkles.
With strung up stars waiting to explode.
Disintegrating now into brilliant lights of diamonds.

Diverted by distance light

Dreaming hopeful and sifting sand.
A hollowed doubt in a burning hand.
As eyes peel back and strip the moon.
This silent feeling is gone too soon.
We count the days as they fall like birds.
With tarred up feathers and swallowed words.
Two throbbing hearts break forth and run.
Leaving shadows and souls in that dying sun.

Accelerate

What have you done?
Today, this life; where have you gone?
Which root did you pull out?
What bone did you break?
What flood turned to drought?
Which love to an ache.
You may forgot everything in the end.
As time shuffles by, and souls begin to bend.
But you have each moment, each second in the sun.
A little tiny diamond, reserved for each one.
To pick up today, and more the day after.
A small little treasure, like happiness and laughter.
So forget the mould and oil that covers you like gloom.
And go out and discover, and shoot for the moon.

Devoir

The noise was smothered by the night.
Lain down in god’s whisper.
So deep the mind fell.
Beyond fossilised creatures and secrets in tar.
The moon hummed in its milky orbit.
Delicious solitude descended.
A quietening of existence.
That is where I’ll find you.
Beyond the chaos and the trauma that litters these lives.
Your sanctuary for my soul.
A marbled palace adorned with tears and precious memories.
A temple I wish to practice our religion.
So light those candles and sing me to sleep.
With conflicting thoughts of tomorrow.
And your voice crawling over me.
So when the day blazes into this skin.
Purifying each sin.
The renewal within, is possible.
Only by your sweet vow.
To remain.

Save yourself/serve yourself

Now that we are so anaesthetised.
We settle for blankness.
Without any compromise.
You suck the soul from us every day.
Filling the void with countenance and suspicion.
Such a beautiful paradox, what a time to be alive.
So lazy by design.
You wear the masks of the familiar.
Cutting the ties that bind us to our future.
And who are we to utter, the silent stutter into separation.
Your IS desperation to keep us scared.
There is no oil here, only pits of anger.
Bubbling to the surface.
Such disturbance now at the house.
The roaring of a mouse, of a nation who were followers.
Now numbering the chorus that’s out of control.
Democracy hangs in the air, like the miasma of the 18th century.
Fogging London once more with a noxious distaste.
We all wear our own tin foil crowns.
Crunching the bones of despair.
The Fear of standing for something.
I am but one of many, lounging in my paralysis.
A self-inflicted state of disconnect.
Waiting for the numbness to arrive.

Fake dawn

The stars are so bright tonight.
It sounds childish, that you want it to last forever.
You see the same in my eyes.
Stretching the night.
Trusting the darkness.
Tomorrow was a failure.
Today is weakened by the sight of it.
That returning thought of Saturn.
Shrinking once more into the horizon.
You marked it there.
It’s easy to hope for the dawn to take you.
Easy to grapple that hand of mine into yours.
Sending postcards and roses to your sixteen year old self.
A secret message that you made it.
It’s harder to wipe the sleep from your eyes.
Harder to beckon in the day.
Which threatens to stain us like the ones before.
When we were lonely.
And afraid.