RED #2: Ruddy muddy sleep

Not over, not complete.
Just fading away.
A blissful depression hung up like ruby red apples.
Strung like silly smiles on those too drunk to know.
This moment washes over, the gravity pulls you down.
Chipping out teeth like tombstones yanked from the ground.
Oh the silence that it unearths.
The faded names who hoped the future would be different.
But the future just teaches loneliness.
As a departure descends.
That long goodbye, hard on the ears but softly spoken.
Trembling in time.
Nothing really dies, we all just fade away.
Siphoned into space.
Breathed out on earth’s asthmatic exhale.
Heaving under strain.
Replaced by things we all despise.
How we spin and sigh and scream.
Reduced to floating dust and regret.
Asleep and dormant, waiting for the nothing.

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Downfall in disappointment

As it comes on with no surprise.
Like the lead in the paint that hangs on these walls.
The disappointment blooms, like you knew it would.
The little teeth of trust you let drop.
Like the milk bones of youth.
I will only disappoint, because you allow me to let you down.
You trap yourself in walls of expectation.
Painting them black and red.
Matching your eyes.
Which follow and watch with such greedy intent.
Drilling the holes in me that allows the dam to burst.
And flood this space with regret.
For these disappointments clink like the ice in your glass.
Unneeded, for you are already chilled to the bone.
Moving through the crowd, placing us like chess pieces.
High up on the pedestal.
Setting us all up to fall.

Jaws

Those words that flowered down in your skin.
Tickling like cancer.
A love that swelled like a harbour masters fear;
at the sight of storm.
You put this in me. I drank it in.
Siphoned off the flames like a bird of paradise;
flying towards the sun.
Down into the roots of your stomach.
Innocence searching, now lost in moments just begun.
Borrowed, broken. Black and blue.
Rubbed off skin, down to the truth and bone.
Hold me in your jaws, feel the juicy love between.
Swallow me.
Tastes like goodness.
Tastes like emptiness.
For in the morning, I am gone.

Echoes in arbitrary flow

Through this darkness, you felt you way.
Fingers in decay, while you groped for something.
I told you, you knew it then.
I would be waiting.
As the moon rolled away like the end of a film.
And the sadness reeled you in.
You held your breath and counted the silence.
Little drops like chips in teeth.
Tiny shifts, the tectonic plates deciding.
I hovered above.
My eyes light like a dove in its pirouetting flight.
I stripped your mind like a Christmas tree in January.
Shed. Cold. Naked.
And ready.
Placing candles in skulls to light your way.
The bodies of your old self, at use after all.
We swim out of the concrete, and into the sky.
Minds now alive and deliberating.
Of which wing to fly upon.
Which sky to pull down and cover us.
To disappear here.

Temporary shelter

We slipped again, into the night.
Out of view.
Known only that we were here by the stories they tell.
Fabrications and fables.
Drops of disillusionments that melt their trustful hearts.
We wander, as they wonder why.
All around us keeps on spinning.
Our own rotational axis that keeps on thinning.
Down into splitting heirs.
Putting matchsticks between your teeth.
Setting the enamelled house to fire.
Write these reasons on the back our hands.
Staple your own destiny to your eyelids.
Then once again play that mournful song of tomorrow.
And disappear into today’s setting sun.

Conker teeth in the harvest moon’s smile

Flutter on this finger while you dance your dance.
Spiraling in your swan song.
October drips down in its turpentine sigh.
Cracking open the door for old man winter.
He heaves and sighs.
Shaking the roots, inverting my natural disposition.
Weigh me down in the setting sun, as the call of another day harkens an exit.
On sticky toffee wings you do fly, casting your shadow across the moon tonight.
Tickle these lips with a seasoned kiss.
Tuck me in like a bear in a jar.
All fury encased in glass.

An interior rhythm

How to rise, when you’re broken.
Like lofty branches that scratch the sky.
Down here on the forest floor, tangled with the roots.
I feel collapsed. I feel free.
I want to tear it apart.
I had to burn it down.
Pick the thorns out of my bark, the chattel from my teeth.
Swaying with the world now. Rising on its axis.
I swing to a new realm, on the pendulous heartbeat of tomorrow.
I allowed myself to fall apart.
Welcoming the termites of time. Destroying all I had.
Whilst watching the watchers in the wings.
Birds who fly with nightshade plumage.
Cluck their tongues and talk of responsibilities.
Laying eggs for a farmer who will devour their friends.
You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know what I grew through.
Such hard terrain and unholy winters. Sprouting to my own spring chorus.
You don’t know me, how could you?
I don’t even know myself.

White out

Counting September’s smile.
Through the cracks in her teeth.
The gaps in the earth that let me in.
Bark stripped and predicted.
Rushing memories through me like electrolytes.
Treading sacred steps though time
Within the cells of mother earth.
Help me to the surface, to gulp the air of immortality.
For I choose the waters that I’m in.
Bringing down the reign.
Throwing flowers at the seasons, hoping they stick.
Waiting for winter’s incumbent snow.
Lodged forever in this tender heart.
White out. Breathe.

You led me here

I woke, 4am; leaving nothing but my shadow asleep.
Making my way through the skeletons, through the tick-tock clocks.
My delusion is on the rise. Seeing you there, I know this must be a dream.
So I look up, and the dark sky collapses.
I shrink into the sweet toothed boy I always wanted to be.
You wear your suspicion like a badge, and you find me out.
Your maybelline eyes sink in like teeth, pouring my over.
‘Oh this heart’ you cry. Reaching out for something, reaching out for me.
But this place doesn’t need me. This is the sinking feeling I try to escape from.
Have tried to escape from all my life.
Remember, I have only just begun to understand.
I wanted you to be wrong, I wanted to be right. I wanted something I will never have now.
Shaking out the bruises that appear on my tongue, I spit out the apple peels that land at your feet.
You scoop them up like pearls.
You brought me here, you called to me to save you.
I cannot save but a tiny bit of time for myself, there is no hope for you.