Second guessing

Disappearing now.
The time came suddenly, like a Monday morning.
Calling you, as long lost friend.
You took a hold of the avalanche and held your breath.
Erasing all in a brilliance of white and gold.
No more tomorrow thinking.
Or second guessing.
Passing now into something else.
Not man made.
Between interstellar space, and home.
It was so easy to dive in, to dive through the dark this time.
Not like before, when you tried. When you failed.
And the water froze you like heartache.
A new terrain looms in your eyes.
This escape is now your land.
No longer the mistress or mister, the sister or ghost that your tried to figure out.
Your god.
Take the keys, and say goodbye once more to the floor which once pulled you.
An inconvenient gravity.
Breathe in, and out again like holy oxygen.
Disappear and explore.
Once more.

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Set the birds free

Where are you going to?
The voice asks, cold like decision.
To set the birds free.
And act, long forgotten.
It had covered over into memory.
By the tide of life.
What will happen?
I do not know, I replied.
Opening the veins, so god could peek inside.
They did that once before.
And we never forgot.
Yet this now seems strange to you?
Yes, because the birds usually nest in the garden.
Not in your heart.
This morning, I will set them free.
Then do it quickly, for I cannot watch.
Does the action bother you, the flapping of wings?
No, not that.
I cannot stand to see freedom, when I’m still locked inside.
The birds inside you I fear, have died.
Yes, but yours can still fly to heaven.
They will fly free at least.

This decision is mine

Try not to breathe, don’t let them see the fear in your eyes.
Trap those voices in formaldehyde, while you hope to swim away.
Try not to cry, they have never even thought of escaping.
Trapped in a prison of smiles, and a thicket of shadows.
You are the deer, so close to the earth.
They are the rocks that they sometimes throw.
Hoping to hit, scrape and bleed you.
Try not breathe, they will never hear through the distance you speed.
Crashing through the forest of fears.
Rising into the light.
Leaving tears in your path, only for the years you wasted.

Heroin(e)

Fire crack cackle in hushed shadows.
Little fingers about to be cut off.
What you say makes me shudder.
A creeping shiver left at the side of the bed.
A mind now full of kitty litter.
With the life looking and an ache to scratch.
Weakness, tossed out like surprise.
Sweetness that came in like a hammer to the glass heart.
Lick me up like spite, with a malice reduced down into silver spoons.
As I fall away from you.
And watch you choke on words and not loneliness.
It moves now in to post-blue passive aggressive.
Feeling the testosterone in our bones.
Angry, because you wanted it this way.
Embattled and emblazed with the world shouting us as well.
Waiting for the silence to once again smother our fires.

Way to your heart

What keeps us warm when the rain covers all?
What brought us here, what was our fall?
Who keeps you safe when the fires smoulder on?
Who is your light, keeping you strong?
Which god do you turn to when pain wastes your heart?
Who leads you back, right to the start?
I fired a shot out into the nothingness.
Into the void, that cold strange abyss.
I cried for you when the pain drew near.
Yet you keep me away in sad lonely fear.
Where do you go when world leaves you cold?
What do you do when your dream isn’t sold?
Who dries your eyes when tears corrode the gold?
When you realises, it’s all as you have been told?
I’ll make a bed for you inside me.
I’ll keep you safe, contented and free.
I’ll breathe the trust in where it belongs.
And I will love you just like I have all along.

Breathe & beat

In a day I walk around the sun.
I trip over you, sleeping on the stars.
Waking you from such magical dreams.
The rays of light burn away my sadness.
The glue of imperfection that held me together.
You smile and promise such freedom.
All I need do, is take your hand and step into now.
But I hesitate.
I quiver.
Grown accustom to these prison walls.
So you pull me through space, gripped like a talon.
Pulling me tight, telling me to hold on.
As your pour gold into my skull.
Lifting me to the surface.
To breathe again, and be.

Kisses that scar

A kiss that reaches in.
Sees who you are.
Behind bone and flesh. So pure and illuminating.
Twisting this knot in my stomach.
You breathe new life into me, asphyxiating this sorrow in my soul.
Paint the walls of my mouth with your honey, let your tongue find a place to rest.
Warm within.
Pull the teeth from my skull, and shower them down like diamonds.
Rubbing my soul to dust.
Licking the roots with vinegar and manna from God.
Bathing my bones in milk and sugar.
Sprinkled on my heart. Touching my ever after.
Your words surround me, dancing in my mind.
They pirouette on my cells, causing me to shudder.
Your Pierrot the clown, causing me to laugh ruby tears.
Coughing out a black marble, that rolls away from me covered in tar.
Fill me up again with your preciousness.
Emerald hopes stolen from that magical city.
Taping my crystal cage.
Threatening to fracture. Threatening such joyful freedom.

Futile

I do know that you loved me a little bit.
Though I still think it was just counterfeit.
And I know you loved yourself a little bit more.
I traded my life, just for a taste of it.
Inside you fist, I was caught within your grip.
You had me believing it was better than it was before.
Now you come back, wanting a part of me.
Ignoring the pain you caused, expecting me to be free.
Arrogantly thinking it was you we wanted to see again.
So let me update you, and send you on your way.
I have no need for your ego always on display.
I have found true love and it is here to stay, without you.

Subside

Falling down the waterfall, falling from grace.
Sliding, spiralling and collapsing. Leaving not but a trace.
Tumbling down speedily, in disgust from your eyes.
Crawling out of this bitter, purgening demise.
Escaping into nothingness, fleeing into freedom.
Tasting the exotic, the heady heights of delirium.
Moving a certain way, to expand these wings.
Unfurling these feathers, precious aerodynamic things.
Falling once again, from ledges of beyond time.
Saying goodbye to shadows, and the ghosts in your mind.
The realisation of collapse, and that this is not where I need to be.
Not a sad solitary boat of sand, on your egotistical sea.
I fully bow out, take my leave and resign.
Plunging into tomorrow knowing, I must fall to then climb.