The water rippled towards him, a small wave plunging forth in its final effort onto the beach. It coated his feet in a warm embrace. He watched as the water receded hastily, as if it had disturbed him yet eager to do it once more. The ocean inhaled, drawing back again as the great expanse seemed caught between the beach and the horizon.
Somewhere in his mind a clock ticked, indifferent to the relaxing flow and rhythm of the tide.
Turning, he caught sight of them once more, up on the sand dunes, walking across them like they were the treacherous paths of Everest. Taking giant strides as they struggled against the depts of the sand. He called them over but was waved off by a frustrated hand. Busy.
He smiled and begun to make his way towards them. The wind caught around him and nudged him on, as if the finger of God steered his way.
It was hot that day, but not unpleasant. The sea breeze found each pore, relieving them from the sun which shone down in it’s burning smile. He carried his shoes in one hand, having taken them off before heading down towards the water. He wasn’t used to the beach lifestyle, but this was what he always did. Taking his shoes off, rolling up his trousers, just in case. He reached them quickly and held out his free hand for them to take. They stumbled slightly over a large mound and almost dove toward him, reaching for him desperately like the edge of a cliff.
“Why don’t you come down to the water, the sand is more compacted there.”
“I don’t want to get my shoes wet.”
He looked down at their shoes, now covered in grains of sand. Dust and damaged, already in need of cleaning.
They kept hold of their hand and they walked on a bit. He slowly begun to steer them towards the sea, but they still kept on the deeper sand trail; his feet digging deep into the cooler parts with each step.
The beach was almost empty. It was a Wednesday, in winter. But winter here was not a winter there. It was hot, and relaxing and exactly where he wanted to be.
His hand was sweaty, and he was conscious of them letting go, but they kept hold of it. Rubbing his thumb with there’s to show affection.
They came to that spot, the spot they knew so well, and which gave them the clearest view of the bay. The beach was a half-moon shape, curving around the bay like a giant force had scooped out the land, letting the sea wash in closer. It was so clear, he could see out into the nothing, as the waves bobbed and churned in their maddening calm. What could’ve been a dolphin poked up further out, gone as quickly as it appeared in the rise and ebb of the sea.
“Why do you always come here?”
He looked at them, the instant sadness appearing there like a ghost.
He gripped their hand a little tighter.
“Don’t you like it here, you love this place.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The wind blew a little stronger, and if he were honest a little colder too.
He kissed them, closing his eyes like he always did. Feeling their lips as he felt the tiny moisture there. He took his hands and ran them up their back and into their hair, cupping them both in the moment. Breathing them in, holding them close, wiping away the tear which had begun to slide so silently down their cheek.
“It’s a place I can always come to when I cannot go on.”
He said this, as tears came to his own eyes. Blurring his image as if the sea had leaked inside of him.
The clock in his head suddenly shuddered, doubling the ticks in rapid progression.
“You know each time you add something. This time I took your hand.”
He looked away suddenly, as if he’d been discovered.
“I like it too, but it’s something I’d never have done.”
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He watched as the waves hurried in, ignoring them there on the beach. Going about their tidal business. Commanded by the moon.
“There are more of course, but you always come to this one. I guess you’re the happiest here. I was too.”
He pulled them in tightly, scared they were already slipping away. He felt them, heavy and solid and gripping on to him also.
“I can’t unlove you. I can’t undo any of this.”
His tears flowed onto them, the wind stung slightly, catching the dampness there in his sockets.
“I love you still. You just doubt that, which saddens me.”
“I love you.”
“Then in the end, we win.”
And they both were gone.
Worry is like a prayer for something we don’t want. Our mind, at times, takes us to such dark places beyond that which gives us light. We can choose where our consciousness leads us, right now in the moment. We can choose what is projected on the wall of our mind. But it is our movie, our film which we have a say on how it ends. If you want to change it, change your consciousness and choose happiness over pain, light over dark.