Journal – I had to grab a suitcase

I’m all alone and I can’t get back. Get back with my wanderlust.

I am very fortunate to be able to travel. It’s a freedom that I do not take for granted and one I appreciate greatly. My recent wander-lusting has taken me to Australia, the land of vegemite sandwiches and killer spiders…..
Read the rest over at the journal

MR

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Mental Masturbation

The wind blew her northward.
Desert dry and frigidly barren.
Her mind, not her body.
Spent, but ready to burst again.
Like a leaf on the breeze she fell where she landed.
Pouring paint into the world.
Cracking open others soul’s to sneak in and plant diamonds.
She came like Christmas, a beautiful pageant of lights and colour.
Soaking up the grey.
Uprooting the cemetery stones that stuck up like teeth.
She polished them like new enamel.
Dressed in the same clothes she was to be buried in, she was like you or I.
The same skeleton underneath.
Yet she was different.
Feeding the animals in her mind she roared at life, treating it like a circus.
Until she floated away again, when her work here was done.

Made for you

A compulsive yearning to breathe you in and out.
Devour me with your skin.
Hold me from within.
Your candied smile, and sacred heart.
A wonderful treasure of flesh and bone, given to me by God.
Protected by the angels above.
Who were once so cruel.
You fit me into heaven, with an open heart and palm.
I fall for you again and again, time over time as the universe bends.
Locked into your seraphim as we walk through the fire.
You never let me go, and I hold on tight.
An expression of the deepest truth that finds its way.
Making me pray, and thanking the world for you.
A secret power in our unity.
Stealing this destiny forever.

You led me here

I woke, 4am; leaving nothing but my shadow asleep.
Making my way through the skeletons, through the tick-tock clocks.
My delusion is on the rise. Seeing you there, I know this must be a dream.
So I look up, and the dark sky collapses.
I shrink into the sweet toothed boy I always wanted to be.
You wear your suspicion like a badge, and you find me out.
Your maybelline eyes sink in like teeth, pouring my over.
‘Oh this heart’ you cry. Reaching out for something, reaching out for me.
But this place doesn’t need me. This is the sinking feeling I try to escape from.
Have tried to escape from all my life.
Remember, I have only just begun to understand.
I wanted you to be wrong, I wanted to be right. I wanted something I will never have now.
Shaking out the bruises that appear on my tongue, I spit out the apple peels that land at your feet.
You scoop them up like pearls.
You brought me here, you called to me to save you.
I cannot save but a tiny bit of time for myself, there is no hope for you.

04:45 Tomorrow

Though the dawn sings out a new chorus, I cling to the night.
It is in the dark we dwell now, secure in our insecurities.
A post-blue anesthesia.
Slipping down from the dopamine shell.
The tiniest crack, the smallest splinter.
Down to the floor where we freeze like winter.
The swan song of our lifetime, yet only 26.
Clickety click.
I dug my own grave with you last night. You did the same, yet watched me do the heavy lifting.
The look away and the tiniest frown, makes me feel incapacitated.
Resting on a gravestone, stroking a soul.
Licking words that you toss my way, crunching on the crumble of forgiveness.
We build the tomb, and plant the seed.
Blacked eyed beans and coffee kernels, salty tears that stain.
Who is she anyway to you?
I go home as the night slips into dawn, erasing the loneliness and feelings of terror.
Come seek me where I dwell, scrap off the shells and dying roots.
Tell me you love me, and mean it. Please believe it.
Sinking into tomorrow, today.