Poetry


Divination

What can you promise that will never change?
A predicable prophecy you find at the bottom of your coffee cup.
But this is larger than you or I.
A life of moments hung together like old Christmas tree lights.
This is me saying I love you.


particular illusions

To sleep under the stars, and to count the heavens.
A result of you burning my bed.
I lie on the cool grass and watch out for comets.
Racing from Olympus to Paradise.
I pulled off the ropes and entanglements.
Escaping with my life, but not my soul.
And now the clouds that cover the milky way.
Blotting out the moon.
Is just the smoke, from the ashes of our home.
Yet suddenly you appear, covered in moon dust.
With starlight diamonds in your eyes.
And you take my hand, and tip the sky over.
Shaking out the stars.
Promising me treasure to be found in our ruins.


Extirpate

Shivering into this new world.
Of a day broken over me like the sunshine egg yolk of realisation.
That an absence now fills this room.
A void as cold as winter, that settles into these bones.
Reborn into a version of such violence and void that my head aches into grey.
And my heart, slips away; into adjustment.
You folded us into memory.
A slight of hand that speaks with a voice of your reasoning.
Echoing now in my ears.
And my tears will turn to chalk.
While the plants die all around me.
A fate that flutters on my lips, like butterflies trapped in conservatories.
Glancing at the world around, yet smashing again and again against the glass.
Yet still you toil and dig at the weeds of my entanglement.
That curled around you like a summer’s blanket.
And you sheer, and slice.
Digging hard at my roots. Killing me a thousand times over.
Praying I rot away and turn into time.


stones & shells

To be the shell in your pocket, or the pebble in your shoe.
Allows the skin that covers you, to take me in.
Closer to your flesh that breathes.
And sees everything.
Closer to god.


Angular resolution

Lost to everyone but myself.
As I stream through the cosmos.
Touching the stars with my fingertips.
Pausing by the swirling galaxies that shine like glistening pools of diamonds.
Would I find you here?
Carved out of something seen by no-one but God.
You speak words of another time and place.
Resting softly in my head like feathers from the future.
Plucked from a comets tail which snakes back to earth.
Threatening the order.
Teasing from above like angels dropping thunderbolts.
All around but absent.
Could I lose you there?
In that place only you and I know of.
Cut in half if you begin to forget.
Faded in the half light of a dawn you once promised.
Erasing the earth like a solar eclipse.
Yet I feel you, on this night.
In this skin that’s cratered like the lunar surface.
And I touch the place you once kissed me.
Believing once more in ghosts.


humbled by such disgust

Undeniably threatened by such conditioning.
Undressing to the eyes of the easily criticised.
Such abuse of positions leaves me shaking.
Before, one after.
Waiting once more for the clock to heave and settle upon me.
Travelled to time zones beyond understanding.
Confused and abused notions of respect.
Never apologising to myself.
Painting each vertebrae yellow.
Only shadows behind those once wild eyes.
Corner darting to search for you.
Counting the orgasms and commitment that never came.
Amazing now with hollow bones and an absent mind.
What I gave away, you store in a room.
In a box.
Out of sight.
So never to tempt me to flee.
Left alone.
In a bath.
Bathing in your bleach.


Salt in the soul

What do you do, when cannot breathe inside?
As the voices pull and call you out to sea.
Caught on the tide of time.
The sun sweats out the salty dreams.
Moments of disconnection.
Burning and fizzing in the heat and spray.
On a day, far from over.
And though you try to ride the tide of change.
You only get battered, smashed against the rocky shores of truth.


PROBLEMATIC PROVIDENCE

The least I can do is, is to rip this skin off.
To strip the bones of the sinful wrapping.
Do you know, it is your body I wish to devour?
Sampling chunks of Christ to purify.
Oh my god, do you know what waters run underneath.
Holy and polluted, waiting to be washed by biblical floods of love.
Yet to detest all of it seems wasteful, for thou art in your image.
An image which feels like a memory.
Do you feast on me? Do you drink my blood?
How sacred is the house that sits on such rocky promises.
A church in the corner of the room where the shadows dwell.
Thy kingdom to come home to, when the world drives me out.
With each act of contrition, with each prayer I mumble.
Wanting, hoping, begging to be like you.
I sink and think, swimming in your brilliance, drowning in your light.
Wondering perhaps, if I am already my own messiah


CALCINATION OF A DYING ANGEL

A flicker in a flame that sets the beat.
Ticking over the tock of a time unravelling.
This flame that scotches the hands that hither.
Trying to love and caress, only to be burnt.
Those feeding fingers that crisp.
The smell of burnt skin and hurt.
Yet a call from within threatens mountainous shifts.
That this life of fire will burn to ash.
And a darkness will follow.
One where we can move without ever being noticed.
For in the dark, we can truly see ourselves.
And I will once again think of running away.


THE ISLAND

Sky west and crooked, that’s where you’ll find me.
Wallowing in the shallows of a spirit so deep.
No man is an island, yet here the land mirrors my form.
Hewn coarsely out of limestone and chalk, strong and cratered like the moon.
You may cast you anchor down to my sandy soil.
Hoping to raise your flag and conquer me.
As you explore what you think you now possess.
But a volcanic change of thought will turn these tables.
Collapsing all that lies in reach.
And we shall sink, beneath the waves of our doomed Atlantis.
To be spoken of in awe by those who follow our demise.


LATCH

The door is swinging, wide and heavy on its fastening.
Through it comes the night, the eerie mist of maddening intent.
The latch is forever broken, letting in the misery.
Sounds of hell and voices of those I love.
Or have loved, for the door does not discriminate.
It sends in souls and sounds that would rock such a fragile house on sticks.
Memories to twist and turn the rooms upside down.
And rain to lash at these windows inside.
Like tears on a mirror, slipping down the pane.
The latch unhinged, dusty and broken like an unwound mind.
Rusty and obsolete in its current state.
Squeaking it’s lament and apathy.
A quick fix, a drop of oil.
To keep the ghosts and the monster at bay.
Out in the other land of nightmares.
While I try to re-arrange this room of dreams.


EXUBERANT VOICES

The crystal bell in this head rings out.
Shattering the dark, sending the bats into flight.
Cavernous places these thoughts do dwell.
But the night light beckons and calls.
Whispers catch on the summer breeze.
Emerging back into a world unfamiliar.
They trickle down the spine, in thoughts so sublime that they leave me restless.
Waiting for the tide to turn.
How they put up streamers and plait the hair of my age into golden weaves.
Singing me to sleep with their lullabies.
These exuberant voices compete to lift this heavy spirit.
Bringing the heavens and the sky down to me.
But back in that cave, behind the rocks and darkness.
Lies a thought, a niggling worm at the core of me.
Now asking, these voices I hear; why are there more than one?


YOU ARE MY RELIGION

I feel your skin, soft and silky like bible pages.
Precious-sacred, and containing such wonder.
The church of your heart tolls the bell in my soul.
Calling me to prayer.
Forcing me to bow.
Anointed, and blessed while you crucify for a kiss.
Keeping my faith locked like a secret only I will know.
You are my religion.
Knowing I’ll always be devout.
Hallelujah.


INFRACTURED

This is where the call came in.
21.09 as the tables turned.
Nothing learned, and feeling fine.
It got a little cold out there baby.
Running the whole world on your lie.
Catching time, trying not to try.
But your control used to cover you.
Now it rolls you over, and you try to let go.
But no.
She wants a little more than you offered.
Coming now to pay the piper.
That pound of flesh you carrot dangled.
Creating such frenzied envy.
And now, here comes that awful feeling.
Smudged with eyeliner and regret.
And as your mouth rolls fables like marbles.
The truth with whisky garbles, like a politician camera posing.
I know you see her. I know you wonder how it will end.
In the end, you lose.


BURST

You paint the world now as you see it.
With shades of red and orange.
A tapestry of colour you lay now at my door.
And hope to wash away, this daily grey; that for years I did implore.
And you threaten and you contest;
that now all I’ll ever see is coloured rain and summer shades.
Whether my eyes are opened, or closed.


SWALLOWING TOMORROW

Who reads a smiling poet’s words?
Ones that bridge the chasm from heartache to heaven.
Do you care to wash in the tears of the lonely?
Or splash yourself in city rain, dirty from the walk of life.
These moments we catch and keep.
Lock inside where the heartbeats remind us we’re still existing.
Coveting and creating.
Moving and replacing like tectonic continents of sorrow and elation.
Self-serving commotion in a noisy crowd of others.
Screaming to be heard and praying to be forgotten.
Who wants to read a dead girls dreams?
Slashed away like the wrist on a foggy November.
Or trapped in amber to survive generations.
We are the pendulum kids, swinging from north to south.
Mouth and eyes open to catch it all and swallow as we fly by.
With tears in our eyes; not knowing if their happy ones or sad.


HEROIN(E)

Fire crack cackle in hushed shadows.
Little fingers about to be cut off.
What you say makes me shudder.
A creeping shiver left at the side of the bed.
A mind now full of kitty litter.
With the life looking and an ache to scratch.
Weakness, tossed out like surprise.
Sweetness that came in like a hammer to the glass heart.
Lick me up like spite, with a malice reduced down into silver spoons.
As I fall away from you.
And watch you choke on words and not loneliness.
It moves now in to post-blue passive aggressive.
Feeling the testosterone in our bones.
Angry, because you wanted it this way.
Embattled and emblazed with the world shouting us as well.
Waiting for the silence to once again smother our fires.


PALPATE

To make you consider, that what I see is real.
To crack this skin like a mirrored pain.
A reflective love dancing on the wings of happiness.
Clouded and scorched.
Licked and honoured.
A crumpling vision of everything.
Tapping now at this skull.
Did I force you to reconsider.
What treasures remain.
Whether it’s me, happy inside you.
Or just a vast ocean of pain.


ENGULFED

Coming up for air, and stealing the sun.
How long can I live underwater?
Pushed to drowning by the weight of your departure.
Collapsing like time.
Peeling the skin off my life like the rind off an orange.
Covered in mess. Bloody and sticky.
Yet nothing washes away.
Nothing drifts, except the pain into tomorrow.
And once again I’m fighting for air.
Alone, battling the waves.


A VULGAR DISPLAY OF GRATITUDE

From the light, to return to the luminous.
Stuck temporarily in the prison of earth.
But these bars are golden.
These chains are studded with diamonds.
Like frozen tears of god.
We flutter on the eternal, like the birds rustling in the trees.
Leaving feathers of time behind and staining history, reminding the past that we flew.
Soaring, tumbling and splintering the great beyond.
So do not frown at the darkening sky.
But be thankful of the threatening rains to wash all this away.
For we have spent so long in the desert, picking over each grain of sand.
Holding them up to the sun to see the universe within.
The sunlight with signify, capture and purify our days spent.
Marking each on with a rebirth and departure.
As we sail in-between, on a sturdy ships of dreams.
Reaching the never ending shores of the incomplete.
Falling off the ends of the earth.
This earth, this state, this grounded place.
Is here to test the spirit and liberate the soul.
So give thanks to the world that is dark and foreboding.
One which seeps in like oil to the heart.
And bow, and pray and thank the creator.
For giving us the chance to spread these heavy wings.
To soar up and switch on the light.
And bathe us once more in golden fires of the absolute.

 


UNDER OCTOBER SKY

Beneath the quietening of this heart.
Cracks a thunder, like an electric storm.
Stinging my teeth while the haemoglobin clouds roll on.
You came searching for me.
Under that October sky that fell down like sympathy.
White sheets stained red and corridors that endlessly led,
to nowhere.
I cannot see all of you in the slit through my eyelids.
While my bloodstream is awash with dizzying correctives.
Which condition should I wear?
Is this but a dream spun from those salty lips?
That kissed me last night as I climbed the walls once more.
Doubtful, for you were gone.
A room devoid of your expansive endurance.
Which explains the circumstance.
The sad tale of happenstance.
Which led me down here.


SAVAGE RECONSTRUCTION OF SELF

Through heavy storms this heart doth beat.
Battle born and weary.
Feathers frayed liked angelic irony.
Patched and nearly severed.
Where do you go to be reborn?
While wolves lick between your teeth.
And though pregnant hopes swell and ebb.
Through cobweb sticky emotions, and distance in your eyes.
The cries of sincere doubt corrode quickly in your salty waves.
Smashed into pieces upon your unwelcoming rocky shore.
Yet something crawls out of the ocean.
Something that slayed the terrors of the deep.
To reach up and scale that towering mountain.
That you placed there to warn those out to sea.
Of how close to god you now sit and suffer.
How away from us you wish to be.


THORNED LOVE SPINED

I found myself reaching for you.
Closing the gap between half worlds away.
Pulling space into my back pocket.
Keeping god under my gums.
You pull away and shake off the stardust.
Tugging the thread of the religion we wove.
Spinning out like the solar system.
Cutting me like thorns.
Yet beauty always seems to dance in the distance.
Unobtainable like the rings around Saturn.
Like the rose, once plucked will swiftly start to die.
So I will not house you in glass jars.
Or swirl you inside me like marbles in time.
You can bloom and fade on your own as I watch from a distance.
Seeing Saturn return into space.
Remembering how sweetly you smelt that summer’s day of mine.


SWALLOWING SPACE

Black moon wrapped for the one I love.
That one who pulled me back.
You asked me once to shut my eyes.
While you unhooked the stars.
And now I see, in the shaking shadows.
You only planned to swallow the sun.


WIPE AWAY THE GREY

To wake, is to dream.
To find myself lost once more in your eyes.
A product of circumstance.
The small twists of fate.
Hold me inside, hand gripped to my heart.
Keep me in your pocket.
Safe and close.
As you wipe away the grey.


FEELING MATURITY’S PULL

Feel the stranger in the skin.
Bones that stumble into another day.
I wish that I could go back.
And remember the person I hoped to be.
Wide eyed with a smile as big as heaven.
Now it pulls down like guilt.
Watching the gravity collapse every time the sun rises.
And feel these dreams demise.
On a forgotten land of possible.
I see through the eyes now of someone I never wanted to be.
An alien soul who moves from right to left.
Unpicking the threads of good and coughing up a sadness.
I wish I could go back.
Back to being the little boy.
I’d tell him not to grow up if he could help it.
Run back to Neverland.


AN INNER CHOIR SINGS

You do not find it in the brush strokes of the saintly.
The willowing wisps of utterances in cold hallowed rooms.
Light a candle, and see me.
Peel back the bits of Christ to find me.
Swimming in the shallow cells of you.
Awash, in the DNA of God.


YOUR PILGRIMAGE

I love your silver dressed dreams.
Darlings, that call us all to look.
To peek and prod in an unforgiving time.
Hook your hate around my hand, thrown in the bag to drown.
Kittens, pebbles in your pocket.
You call this your pilgrimage.
A racing stumble through our great beyond.
But that was where I found you.
Heaped and tired, all covered in stars.
Can you walk the line?
Can you take some time to change?
Wrap this love around you heart, swallow and then re-arrange.
Your pilgrimage.
You deep mistake.
Your breaking through, my privilege.


FLOATING WORLDS

To lift into a dream.
A sky that fits into your hand.
Let loose like the heartstrings of a melody,
that taps at your soul.
You breathe the air I need to survive.
Blown backwards like a northwest gale.
Billowing underneath these feathered sails.
Crystalize the weight that hangs heavy like the edge of space.
Skimming the clouds of your floating world.
To dive into the air of thought that passes between us.
That leaves me shaking like a night terror.
A heartbeat like a sleep kick.
These strings are made with each joint decision.
Tasselled and tied the rigging of a wandering star.
Leaving my hands covered in stardust.
And lungs of love full to burst.
I go silently into that pastel sky.
Watching the moments as I go.
Lifting off deep into your soaring kingdom.


SARCASTIC SIMON SAYS

Which parade set table are we dressed for?
Candy stars and sweet honey lemonade?
Goldfish trapped in tiny jars.
Blind me now, let’s play charades.
Cheating on the life we try to lead.
Hide and seek with death.
But such a sad face he always wears.
Covering us in black and liquorice lace.
Come skim the jellybean stones with me.
Jump the sugared rocks over the pool of irresponsibility.
We can talk to god at the end.
We can ask him how it went, and whether our game was fun.
Come on, come on!


MOTHER

Out of the dark, like a Pisces rising.
The ship of salvation on this sanctified horizon.
Oh mother, why do those tears of glass never shatter?
Who wipes away those beads when the world turns over?
We hum the hymns in a frantic manner.
Coughing up rosaries like pearls from the sea.
Yet a pain in your heart vibrates underfoot.
Quaking the earth and displacing my faith.
Not in you, oh mother, the salvation in my sadness.
But in a world I find as sticky as tar, and dark as oil.
Resistant to your holy water.
Tis such vanity I make your image so beautiful.
Mirroring the love I have for my mother of body.
The one I share cells with.
Divine DNA.
So I roll my eyes back, and taste the pain away.
Losing your son.
As impotent as God to intervene in fate.
And I pray, and kiss your blessed feet.
Giving up the holy image in my mind.
Loving you for the first time,
as someone who I always knew.


UNDER MY SKIN

To hesitate in your eyes, is to drown a thousand ways.
Swimming against a tide that roars with the sound of heaven.
You conquer me, setting fire to the flames that already burnt to ash.
Falling through your fingers like the soot from Pompeii.
A staining spreads, quickly and delicately feeding my veins.
Your sweetened touch, making my world quiver.
Dancing to a delicious possibilities.
To know you, like I must, breaks all the rules of conformity.
Giving over to the rapturous sound of love.
A melody which your soul murmurs.
And which sinks beneath these bones.
To disrupt the beating of my heart.


QUIET REFRAIN

The rain of time.
A slow drip into my skull.
Quietens the restless bird of my mind.
Flattening it’s wings.
Ceasing it to fly.


 BOY

Unpicking the threads that burrowed deep into the bones.
A tangled web of untruths.
Wearing boots, to kick the butt of the world.
And raise that two inches higher.
Closer to the sun, to let it catch in your eyes.
Able to cry, only when you’re alone.
Stripped and naked, yet not self-deprecating.
Watching the birds from the nest.
With a numbed skin that creases at the corners.
Wallowing in the shallow waters of a dirty pool.
I cannot keep you safe from the wolves.
I can only save myself from tomorrow.

GIRL

A swing between masculine and feminine.
Welcomed into the circus tent once more.
A concrete garden where the clowns come to cry.
My oh my, what a pretty thing. What a pretty scene.
Wearing boots to mark your tread on the earth.
And to raise higher on that pedestal.
Forever wobbling in the winds of change.
Yet how you soar up to the sun.
Licking feathers to keep them packed, aerodynamic.
Keeping the sheen and the shine to show the gold.
And never grow old, for the elephant graveyard never holds your bones.
You only fade into pages of yesterday.


UNEARTHED

At the end, was where she found her soul.
Not spun from lips in a chorus and churchal ring.
Or in the dregs of a splinter thin wine glass.
She did not see it when she closed her eyes at night.
Only monsters and terrors of tomorrow flared there.
Her heart may have heaved, swooned and believed it was there;
under sticky sheets.
In the humid room where the windows steamed.
Octopus arms reaching deep into her being.
No.
She found her soul, at the bottom of the bathtub.
Which is why she rested there.
For an hour, a day, and eternity.
Smiling at finally finding it.


WEAPON OF CHOICE

It’s so hard, just to peel back the truth.
Like folding back the sky.
Propping up heaven while we renovate.
Dusting under the throne, sweeping under the rug.
How much is caught in your eye?
As the verbal rocks are thrown?
Hammering now in your head.
Leaving idealism to another time, another life.
Dropped in the ocean to be covered in coral.
We slaughter the fledgling feelings, new to hope.
Eager to walk in the sunlight holding hands.
We never understand, how to break the cycle.
Going round and round. Like a falling plane.
Spiralling, tumbling, freewheeling to the ground.
You pin the medal of victory to your chest.
Pricking the skin, letting the blood flow.
Straightening your soul, patting your ego on the back.
Mumbling incoherently the art of war.
Driving your tank over the art of love.


INDIGNITIES OF WAR

Now the music sounds better without you.
The sound of rust and avoidance.
A pin of change, held in thy hand.
Explosions in their eyes, are merely the dying stars of hope.
As they drop bombs on everything you see.
All that once glittered was sold.
Packaged and peeled like your skin on the cross.
And we taste the regret each day.
And we forget each pain and stay,
locked in world of static.
Explaining each miracle away.
It once felt like home.
Until the sands rose and the waters melted.
And we looked once more in the back of our skulls.
Picking away at you on the roof of our mouths.
The tourniquets we place over the lands tear.
The crumble and crack of reason.
The pain is the only thing we’re happy to hear.
As we martyr those who walk your walk.
And silence those, with that familiar talk.
Of love.


HELIOCENTRIC DETOURS

A story unfolding at the speed of life.
Unplugged or imbedded.
I think I missed the Milky Way.
Drinking once more from a cup of stars.
Do these words seem familiar?
As they slide once more into focus.
Chewing on your past like a shark in a bathtub.
Filled to the brim with sorrow.
Eyes, that are empty.
Call for tomorrow.
As your moon hangs heavy in your heart.
Blue, like the subterfuge that shrieks past like a shooting star.
Call it what you want, taste it like confusion.
But be sure to rinse you mouth with the irresistible.
And swallow the sublime.


FLOWERS BEHIND GLASS

The door to this heart hangs heavy.
Swinging on the ideals of the irrational.
Breathe on this skin, and watch the gold paper flutter.
Lick it down to keep it in place.
They once planted flowers above my head.
Placed little stones over me to mark this grave.
The place where lonely hearts came to die.
Decaying like the rotting buds of spring.
Within, they did not care to ignite.
You touch me but once, and electrify this process.
Kissing me with an electron blue.
Now, as the rains cover my earth, deep within I begin to bloom.
You never left, you stayed to watch the blossoming.
Feeling the florets in you rose petal hands.
And now they watch, behind glass and a stretch of time.
Only snapshots of a love divine.
Walled away and tempered.
While you pick these roses, without thorns.
And garden all through the night.


ALCHEMY AND DELIBERATION

Twist the thorn in the blackness.
A congealed oil in my soul.
Split the vein and breathe.
Om Sarveshaam svastir-bhavatu.
We’ve stripped the skin, dived right in to a place we’ve known before.
A return, or re-invention.
Time to manage the maligned.
Re-arrange the altar in my heart, kneel and give thanks.
Here. Now. So high.
Flying above houses and heaven.
Making my way across the sky.
With green tea and terror on my lips.
But unafraid, of the wonder beyond.
The familiar in my bones.
And the story yet told.


BORDER-LINING-ABSENT

She waited in the rain.
Caught between do or die.
Flee or fight.
Choking on decisions, each one bitter.
She watched as the world collapsed.
As the people fragmented into another time.
Small pockets of clouds like hurried breath in the cold.
Her feet were once rooted to the ground.
But he chopped that tree of life down.
Digging out all that treasure she had buried when she was young.
And now she alone and penniless.
Older and empty.
Not for what was stolen, but for what he had left behind.


EXTIRPATE>AMALGAMATE

Stand in the middle of the wreckage.
The galaxy of regrets wash at your feet.
All open fields.
The tidal pull within you, feasting on black waves of idealism.
You bring your dreams to god.
Such food for a hungry beast.
The wind washes away, the dirt and decay of mountainous failure.
And who really cared. Who really cried over forgotten chances?
The road just diverged.
You detoured to this place where you can feel the grass under your feet.
Grounded.
Predisposed to deletion, to erase what was the stain and the dirt.
Such grand destructions.
But now it lies, bleached into your eyes.
Hung up in the gallery of your life.
And we now admire, devouring the stories of your past.
All parts that assimilated to the messiah of the meadow.
Here. Now. Living, breathing.
Being.


DO, WHAT YOU DON’T

Do you need some assistance?
While the moon falls, and the waves turn black.
That notorious liar.
All joy that expired, when they decided to stay.
Robbing and rubbing. Making little nests for magpie memories.
It found you, such violent forgiveness.
Crashing into your cells while your conscience slept.
And do you wake to pray?
Do you mean to say, you would give it all back?
Sin crouches at the door.
God hovers on your lips.
And still, you remain the same.


REACHING ROOTS

How deep do these roots need to burrow?
While the wind of the world shakes and batters.
Down deep, past dinosaur bones and bits of myself.
Long forgotten memories and names no longer remembered.
Roots of strength, yet they strangle the small and struggling.
Little sprouts of new dreams which begin deep in the dark of my soul.
Waiting, for just the tiniest flash of light.
Yet the roots need to be strong.
For it’s much further to go on.
And this tree is desperate to reach up to heaven.


PURIFY

Turned to gold as it hits the floor.
Letting go of such insecurity.
Hang me like a millionaire.
Cut me and stare, and watch the scene unfold.
For the tongues to click and clatter.
All words with no meaning.
All heart with no feeling.
These social diseases force me to disconnect.
A daily monster to crucify, while we hide our own guilt.
And the sin that hovers like a monster at the door.
Purify the space.
Sanitise the soul.
Block the ears of those too involved to care.
Hand out the matchsticks from the tree you hung me from.
Use them to keep your eyes open.
To let the darkness in.
In our strange world of opposites.
And let it go.
Just, let it go.


I SUDDENLY FEEL IT

Under the floorboards it dwelt.
Dipped in diamonds.
Hard as nails.
A love that painted the corner of my planet.
Washed over me like black rain.
You creep into my bones like golden dust.
Strengthening and sturdying my soul.
This past is left in the darken room.
You turned off the light for memories that kept me awake.
No more grave digging in the sunlight.
Stopping instead, to smell the flowers.
Picking eternal daisies in the dirt of time.
Forcing me to be x-static, extreme like violence.
You are the colour in my skin.
Awash with happiness deep within.


FALLING INSIDE NOTHING

He let the ghost in, and paid for the pleasure.
Allowed it to walk around his soul.
Dispensed with the hauntings of old.
And reclaimed such fresh bones to tingle.
An empty shell, nothing more.
The vast lake of indifference that stretches into tomorrow.
Freezing such sorrow.
And leaving sad footprints in the snow.
What deeds did the phantom choose?
With a body now willing, and an absent soul.
It waited.
It waited, and not in vain.
To find the will to love again.
For the empty souls are not always alone.
In the face of another, featureless and insane, haunted even the spirit.
Chained it down to cognitive reframe.
And banished the shadows from the eyes.
Tearing the absent heart, while the spectre burnt.
And melted into eternity.
Together. Alone. Deceased.


TANGERINE

With your tangerine smile, which flavours the city.
Casting a sunburst across my eyes.
I’ll find you, where I know you’ll be.
Down by the water’s edge.
Inside my soul.
Scooping up petals and bits of memories that others left behind.
You tape them to your chest.
Quilt them to the inside of your skin.
That citrus deposition.
Sharpe and bright, welcoming me in.
You peel away the days, opening up to happiness.
Finding me at home, with your tangerine touch.
And smelling like summer.


RETREAT

Bullets peel away my flesh, as the city sleeps.
It crumbles into the night.
Slinking into tomorrow like a panther into the jungle.
You don’t run my town.
You won’t own my crown.
The drums of war sound and the concrete cracks.
Awakening once more to a new day of havoc.
Racing rats and such noise in my skull.
Retreat. Re-tweet.
The fingers tap itching by the triggers.
Awash with opinions, thrown like rocks.
Flowers grow where old giants fell.
Mighty names and egos that towered into the sky.
You throw such money around.
Yet you walk sideways.
Poised with perfection, like a clown who has mastered tears.
Retreat. I retreat into the place where I was born.
To a land where the trees breathe my name.
I hear the bullets fly in the distance, yet they cannot reach me here.
They do not know this place.
Or that it’s my finger on the button.


AN EULOGY OF SLEEP

Tokyo flutters on the eyelids.
Silencing the sleep.
Cairo creeping on the skin.
A hemisphere of time separates.
A body in repose. The mind scattered.
All is quiet. All is calm.
I move the things that are put in place to protect me.
Tiny rivets that keep me clamped.
Tarping wrapped around my soul.
Flutters off into the horizon.
Peeling away this world to dig beneath the ground.
Waking the dead to tell them, not to sleep, but to dream.
Heady fluorescents shine through those summer eyes.
A system of survival begins to whirl to life.
Ticking and tocking to a rhythm we’ve all known.
All felt deep in the roots of our bones.
Now with talk of eternal positions.
Laying down to rest.
4am.
Skirting the edge of dreams.
Marking the skies red.


INTERRUPTED SLEEP

You sleep the soundest with gritted teeth.
Chocking on the chalk.
Swallowing the lies.
Silently sweating out the guilt that pools,
soaking your soul.
Such violent awakenings.
The disgust of the nights awake to your dirty days.
Paralysing the angel that hovers in your bones.
Do you talk the loudest to god?
Who really listens?
Where does the devil take you to punch at your dreams.
Shattering the road of good intentions.


WHAT I HAVE IS GOLD

Block karma as it seeps into the crevices.
High on me like supersonic agitation.
Suspended apprehension.
Giving time to wallow in the presence of now.
Born out of the very fabric you wish to tear.
July night, watching independence explode like a fountain of stars.
Too high-drunk to matter.
Collecting gold and the thoughts that matter.
Everything trapped in glass. Treading sorrys and eyes which follow.
Bleeding into tomorrow.
Dispelling cowardice and collecting courage.
You are sorry. (So at ease)
I still love you.



PRETTY PROTECTIONS

When you summoned your tempest.
And the gods all heard.
Sending shockwaves and blame that came down in floods.
Landing on me like freshly fallen snow.
A target of your manic fuelled rage.
No more.
No longer the substitute for the all the blank spaces.
The vertebras you want to crack and walk upon.
All this egg shell laden land, dulled of the green you promised.
Conjures more towel throwing.
Yet still I remember the days where you fixed my crown.
And only coughed into the night of life.
Yet these frequent occasions  gather like the monsoon rains.
Always on time and unpredictable.
Soaking me through with tears of regret.


HURRY THIS NIRVANA

How long had you been sleeping?
In a pool of your own happiness.
Licking the chops of the beasts that sleep.
How anointed of you, to kiss my sandalwood feet.
To stare into the eyes of god and see nothing.
To see only stars, being born again and again.
Your skin cracks and bleeds rose water.
These eyes that tighten with every word from your lips.
Coughing up daises, pulling the leash you keep the world on.
They’d love to hate you.
Sneaking just a peak at your tolerance.
Dousing everything in oil and honour.
Lighting little fires in the dark pools of their souls.
Divine is defined by your existence.
Regret is stained by your ghost.


 

REVELATION

Show the world who you are.
Dripped in honey and absinthe.
Hovering by a flame.
All parts, never the same.
As they try to push you under a reason.
A statement, a label, or part treason.
When you smash the brackets of age that constricts.
And you pull down the gods for a closer look.
They’ll see you reflect in their eyes.
Please, memorise their apology.
And wave as they pass you by.


ATTENDING ONE’S OWN FUNERAL

Everything in the air, but for a moment; you’re not there.
Dust into dust and the ashes to rust.
Dressed in black, with a wolf under your skin.
The only commitment you have, is the body into the ground.
No one weeps, for that was planned.
The space of you that we now turn to ghosts.
Cut off in the prime of its chaos.
Tried to hide, tried to bide, the time it took to change.
Like needles in veins, it maintained control.
And to the earth we shall return.
For the heavens poured into the mouth of mother earth.
The light broke, smashed and scattered.
Drenching the dark soul of you in fluorescents.
And the shadows slipped away.
And the horror turned to decay.
It all collapsed into now, this day; where you can start again.


INDESTRUCTIBLE

Rewind to undo.
What fills these tears that thread?
Closing up a wound, to let the sadness in instead.
Meet me in the stars, where the moon weeps.
And my sighs are carried away on solar winds.
Cosmically everlasting.


BROKEN PIECES

Uncover the shells, the coins over these eyes.
Floating like the debris of life.
Dug out of god’s pocket, with the lint and consequence,
of time.
Falling by.
Clutched in the hand as broken pieces.
Early echoes of a self that I once knew.
Too quickly, it left the room.
The place I had built with much toil and despair.
A sanctuary of solitude, on the edge of uncertainty.
And now, a numbness takes over.
Turns bones to brittle and guard to be dropped.
All slack cut as the minds open wide.
Am I sorry to myself?
What apology is needed, in the face of evolution?
Of change that throttles and throws us into tomorrow.
I land in my cat feet, without those nine lives.
Just a jumble inside of those broken pieces.
Rattling out a tune, a new version of me.


GALLERY OF SOULS

How the love filled my heart.
Yet a size too small.
Breaking at the seams and spilling blood on the white couch.
Yet eternally it took me.
Like Moses to the mountain.
As I watched you fix your smile.
Nervously looking at the ceiling as you spoke.
Sleeping silently.
Being anything but me, anything but myself.
Wanting the world to fade, so I could be alone with you.
Just you. Swollen in a sea of scared beliefs.
And dreams that came true.
Fade to blue.
Collapsing the before into the now of the never.
As you choke the love out of me and let me breathe.
Letting you in.
As we begin.
Hanging pictures of our love, for the world to see.
And pay admission to leave.


CHECKERS AND CHESS

How to topple the king which wears the crown so royally.
Moments and magnesium fill the place of diamonds and gems.
Wrapped in much Fools gold.
And the crown heaves down, rubbing red and raw.
Check
A life long lived with much regret.
Check.
How we turn the heels and fled.
To learn a life in which to lead, we watch the others.
Little eyes through holes in fences.
A voyeuristic violation, into their little galaxies.
That swirl and sway like the black in the white.
Changing from dismay, into delight.
And you take this horse by the reigns, and lead me through the forest.
Through the clearing of my ill begotten ways.
Out of the woods, out of the storm.
Peppering poppies that fill my lungs with such poisonous perspective.
And show me.
That I had been asleep all this time.


TERATON

Feeling eternity’s pull.
Like a fishhook in the eye.
Sweaty palms and idle thumbs.
Such monsters we welcome into our lives.
What god’s we despise.
This island calls to me, in the middle of the cityscape.
Alone and volcanous my temperament now becomes.
Changes of thought like the harrowing weather.
Laying blame like the setting sun.
You do not wait for the dark to appear.
The titan out of the depths of fear.
Into my life you shatter.
Breaking all I’ve ever known.
Asking me to reside in your temple, lighting torches;
keeping the bats and the beasts at bay.
My tabernacle heart cries out.
Waking its own monster from the core.
I bow and shudder, marking the scales that begin to appear.
And we fall and fight forever.
Grappling in the leviathan love we invoked.
Red in tooth and claw
Knowing it will be the death of us.


DOCKED IN DRY SAND

How can we be close to God?
When the anger flows. Corroding inside out.
Does God bleed like me, with a fire in the veins?
Turning the petals of penitence to ash.
The devil can just read my mind.
Slipping underneath in the night like a snake under the doorway.
Yet I know I left the door ajar.
And a candle lit, to light the way.
We have wings, yet we walk through the desert of the day.
Complaining over each grain of sand we find.
And the pebbles of people in our shoe.
Hardening our skin to a lesser sin.
A dehydrated delirium takes me.
And these wings grow frail and dry.
And even though we try, we may never sail the ocean skies again.


JAMAIS VU

Lies are what you make of it.
Icebergs that tower on such frigid sea.
Who were you anyway?
Through the haze and the snow that falls like sympathy.
Worries that sprout like the spring is sprung.
Needling a brain that heaves and shudders.
A death throw in a maternity ward.
So young was the idea of change.
Yet now it’s a fading star.
Peppering my sky that is being painted black.
And somehow you purify.
Allowing the colours to blind my soul.
Then testify, that I’m still growing old.
These colours merely blur to a hue.
And force me to ask who you are.
As you reach in, and pull my eyes free.
To save me from never being seen.


PERFECT CIRCLE

Tracing the forgotten, on tiny little fingers.
Come, feel the weight of us now.
Wrapped up in cotton.
Pushing the sand and soul around.
Skimming the solar system as you exhale.
God’s miracle, of flesh and bone.
Captured in a moment, locked in a shell.
You move me like the oceans.
Swallowing the spray like dew drops of time.
Frozen in the depths of space.
These two states, like interstellar symphonies.
That asks me for forever.
Committing us to hold hands into the abyss.
A solar kiss, that burns the past away.
I will hold you forever, like God cradles the earth.
With the moon in your womb.
Giving birth to the stars.


VIOLETS

Catch those condemnations on the rim of your glass.
Mix in amber.
Preserve and observe this staging saga.
Oh my life in Technicolor.
Shining like the diamonds above your eyes.
As you cover all you see in flowers.
A bed. A tomb.
A road for my departure.


 

ECHOES IN ARBITRARY FLOW

Through this darkness, you felt you way.
Fingers in decay, while you groped for something.
I told you, you knew it then.
I would be waiting.
As the moon rolled away like the end of a film.
And the sadness reeled you in.
You held your breath and counted the silence.
Little drops like chips in teeth.
Tiny shifts, the tectonic plates deciding.
I hovered above.
My eyes light like a dove in its pirouetting flight.
I stripped your mind like a Christmas tree in January.
Shed. Cold. Naked.
And ready.
Placing candles in skulls to light your way.
The bodies of your old self, at use after all.
We swim out of the concrete, and into the sky.
Minds now alive and deliberating.
Of which wing to fly upon.
Which sky to pull down and cover us.
To disappear here.


PROLOGUE TO HAPPINESS

Hum, under the skin.
Vibrations shift the molecules and intent.
What really is set in stone? What scratches the sky?
Mistakes can be pulled down like skyscrapers.
Tumbling into the ruin of the past.
For a chance to rebuild.
This is the sound of severing.
Separation from the collapse of an old self.
We frequent too often the cities of solitude.
Built in times of uncertainty and fear.
A symphony of graffiti, cover all you see.
Now break it all, and shed the skin.
Crack the bones within and begin.
A sanctuary that pulls you into space.
To replace and repel the ghosts.
That never learned to fly.


BEYOND THE EDGES OF REASON

How did they pluck the flowers of me?
The budding explosion of perfume and pride.
Each one pushed through such dark deep earth.
The soil and shit of a life in this age.
With their eyes they take.
With their hands they snatch.
Groping and tearing at the petals of my mind.
To say the tears watered the earth, sullens those drops so innocent.
Muddies the pools in which my heart swims within.
So I keep them out.
I fence it in.
Planting pansies in the mouth of the weeping willows.
Building the trees tall that they reach up to heaven.
Where I can make my escape.
To plant fresh seeds in the lunar lawns of eternity.
Alone and content, to watch it all from space.


IDLE HANDS

Spider vines that creep.
Under my skin, beneath the bone.
Touching you there, where I know you’d feel something.
Underneath where the devil plays.
And the intent, whispers like a tongue on the breeze.
My witch’s familiar licks the blood from these fingers.
And hunts you down.
Seeking revenge and reason for you turning my head.
And throbbing my blood.
With your idle care.
Now at the whim, of my idle hands.


ANT EMPIRE

Discovered by mistake, that breaking heart hidden under the couch.
Locked in the cupboard.
Buried beneath the earth.
And if it broke, and if I died; what world is left behind?
A towering empire of loose threads.
Pulled at many moments in a life undone.
Towering up to god, my shaking finger of Babel.
Crying out in many tongues to a deaf creator.
The holder of my heart.
These racing rats and spiders which crawl over me at night.
What a sight, it is to see a hollow mind explode inside out.
My little world of mistakes, dew drops to effort.
A treasured time where the earth held still.
And I held my breath, for you looked inside.
And watered my garden.
Tended to the flower that had crawled away from the sun.
My tiny empire, rebuilt by the one.


MARGIN OF ERRORS

Clouds across my windowed eyes.
Rain that splashes my soul.
Wandering along that mountain path.
Crushing stones and sympathies underfoot.
Careful at the mountain ledge.
Careful at the water’s edge.
Leaving the drowning for the thoughts that never learnt to swim.
And the birds that cannot fly.


35 DEGREES UNDER ICE

Broken and bleeding.
With sticks to keep my eyes open.
You left me, healing,
Asleep under winters duvet.
How scared was I when the nights rolled in.
Dark, and threatening, to never lift.
You said the tears would fix the wound.
The fox call, which entered the room.
Covering everything that was beginning to get cold.
You promised to make things better.
Nourish my leaf fell heart and welcome the spring of together.
Taking my hand to brace against the weather.
Which only heightened the storm inside me.
The tempest of old memories.
Old moments that lowered my pressure.
A winter’s flurry, to freeze the pain.
Hoping I could love again.


OCCASIONAL RUCKUS

Wrapped in the 21st century.
Shattering all trauma that built against my little empire.
Punching blindly, this fight of life.
(yet asked not to kill)
Face first on the concrete.
Setting fires to light my way.


UNDOING

Flutter as the noise disturbs the flies.
And the feelings come alive.
In all of the ways you make it up.
How much of you is smeared in invisible ink on the soul?
It’s a little of you, a little of me.
A flame caught in the eyes of others.
Reboot.
Start again and untangle the mess of a millennium.
Who set the clocks anyway, the ones that are always ticking?
Paint all of this green and make it come alive.
Dance in the field of the immortals.
Where nothing shakes their bones.
And welcome arms embrace your indecision.
For that is where true beings reside.
And the great pretenders die.


ANHEDONIA

Nonsense in the air like snow.
Palpable excitement in the flurries of youth.
Catching in hands and eyes.
Down there, where the air is thick with intent.
Gone within the hour.
It may fall and drip like butter.
Seeping into the empty shells of my life.
Yet still it’s unmoving.
A granite edifice of misdirection.
Locked in a dragons breath smile.
Keeping the world at bay.
And now they know.
They drink up, up, up.
Ritalin reasons to make the moment real.
But she only wants to be.
Only in the air like the snowflakes.
Everywhere and beautiful.
But quickly gone.


FALL FROM GRACE

You don’t know god like you used to.
Angel, spill my blood.
Too afraid to believe your hate.
So justified.
Now fire sky.
Falling like in-consequence.
With nowhere left to run.
Your damage is done.


FEARS

Mined out of dissatisfaction.
Brought to light in the eyes of the others.
A jewel, covered in dust.
The king with the tainted crown.
Crucified with thoughts of simple salvation.
But how you swallowed that pill.
And into the stomach of the beast it swam.
Licking the bones dry.
Making the devil cry.
Little fears like moons orbit your soul.
Clipping the wings eager to expand.
Keeping your plane grounded.
How heavy those stones are.
Deep in those pockets while you walk into the lake again.
Fears follow you like any bad decision.
Drowning you in a bath of bleach.
Killing you before you ever even lived.


EVERLASTING

Vanilla fair with the right light.
By design, a moment.
A sting in the eye.
A poster for a lost cause.
Everlasting.
Tumbled down in time and by the grace of God.
To sit there on the tip of my eyes.
Watching as my tongue rolls over.
You play that song and sound my heart.
Banishing ghosts who cling like pith to my soul.
The refugees of love, now grown old.
As the gap between us narrows.
And you become family.
Closer than god.
Everlasting.


lucent

Consumed the visible but abstract.
Light, after all is but energy with intent.
Allow it to illuminate your veins, choke the strains;
and the dark cancer I could not eat.
Be not like the stirring waxing moon.
Capricious with its vanity.
It’s changing form to its circumstance.
Be strong, like the sun.
A burning fire that cannot ever go back.
Raging with reason, and a deadline to know when to stop.


NOVEL INDULGENCE

Burn those books, to fan this flame.
Reaching and groping for a reason.
Oh what lies, between these thighs?
And what lies within.
Voids of sin and saccharine.
Humbly taken from the shelf of life.
Dusted and rusted beyond all sense.
Yet still I thumb the page and pluck each word.
Giving myself over, to a conversation with just me.


BEDEVILED

Lies, they kept her from heaven.
A raging ghost of self contempt.
And in the dark, all can see her tears.
Slipping into the cracks of hell.


OCTOPUS

Cracks in the colossus.
Licking time across new wounds.
Limping and lumbering back into the ocean of your eyes.
Taking lifelines.
That little notepad you kept in your desk.
Right behind your mind.
Scribbling a sonnet for thine truth to break.
And a storm to release.
Sweeping up all the worries and the fish from the bottom of the sea.
I bottled up these sea storms.
The swell in your day.
But you pick and poke at the cork and the corrections.
To then complain that you are soaking wet.
What fable lives now in that oily deep?
What treasures do you covert, claw at and keep?
For in my mind too swim a thousand sharks.
Tasting blood in the water.
And it’s tough, stuck; no longer able to swim.


ALLERGIC

The skin glistens in its milky ruin.
A sweet sweat slithering across the eyes.
What was it you’re allergic to?
Thoughts of entanglement and much divide.
Letting go of the things you hold so dear inside.
This unhealthy pallid state, a diseases sprung from Hade’s lips.
Such suffering in the sulphurous position you are in.
It’s not the love that drives you mad, or turns your inside’s out.
That much I know, for your heart grows.
And blossoms like the spring time trees.
The virility abound like the roots underneath.
Down below.
Yet blood seeps, and oil flows.
The sinking ship of something into the dark nadir of loss.
Allergic, your ego is; to thoughts of love.
Wishing to expel in its fight of flight.
Choosing death over design for life.
So I shall wait, and watch the pools of blood as they rise.
Knowing, in the sticky situation, that your soul is making room.
For us.


UNMADE

Unravel. After years of waiting, you see what couldn’t be seen.
Underneath, in between the sheets.
Always there, but you were looking in the wrong place.
A paranoid sense of urgency compels you now.
Pulling the cords, tugging at the threads.
Pushing the day into night as you dig deeper.
Down through the bones.
Unmaking my existence.
Hoping to rain inside my soul.
But only fogging up your own eyes.
Blind to the truth and the strength I kept hidden.
Strong inside but you never knew it.
Your destruction of me only lifts the veils and reveals.
That little child, you make into a ghost.
I could be anything you want, if you decide to go back.
And make light from all the black.


LOVE COME RESCUE

Arrived, 4am. Too tired to see the world for what it was.
Slipping into the cracks and shadows that fill my eyes.
Too drunk to notice that I couldn’t notice you.
Standing with arms outstretched like a bird’s wings.
The wren that always had strength to fly.
That slipped into the open wounds and found our hearts.
It patches us up now, flitting inside my skin.
Pulling feathers over broken bones.
But like me, it does not notice the cartilage cage it builds up around it.
It too now needs help. To lift up and soar again.
Love, please come and rescue us all.
Make us fit to fly and leave this place.
With only fallen feathers to show we were here at all.


CLAIM

I did not choose this future, she said to the dark.
She said to no-one in particular.
They had departed, melted away like last year’s snow.
She waded through the slush of emotions and found her heart warmed.
Not by the sun rising off in the distance.
Or the hand-me-down blanket she wrapped her soul in.
The one she stole from a lover, course and mismatched.
But by the sense of knowing that the day was hers.
Ready to right the ruin.
As she climbed out of her tawdry despair.
Marking her name in red across the calendar date.
Setting fire to the watchtowers in her mind.


WEIGHTED

The only explanation, to the thoughts stuck in your mind.
Is that the fairy tales so familiar, are just lies on the end of sticks.
Princess you are not.
Cracked though, like a porcelain doll.
Washed up in the flood of life.
God didn’t want to throw you away.
So you stay.
Married and marred to another, while the butterflies escape.
And the eyes of others, circle like filthy black birds.
Keep your eyes open, and follow the stars in the sky.
For the earth will only replace yours with little lights.
Dull black candles.
While the stardust flutters away.


MENTAL MASTURBATION

The wind blew her northward.
Desert dry and frigidly barren.
Her mind, not her body.
Spent, but ready to burst again.
Like a leaf on the breeze she fell where she landed.
Pouring paint into the world.
Cracking open others soul’s to sneak in and plant diamonds.
She came like Christmas, a beautiful pageant of lights and colour.
Soaking up the grey.
Uprooting the cemetery stones that stuck up like teeth.
She polished them like new enamel.
Dressed in the same clothes she was to be buried in, she was like you or I.
The same skeleton underneath.
Yet she was different.
Feeding the animals in her mind she roared at life, treating it like a circus.
Until she floated away again, when her work here was done.


 

 

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