Poetry


Violent Psalms

Hallelujah.
The stars inhaled.
A waking darkness crashes into these eyes.
I hear the havoc in this hymn.
And see the shapeless violence crawl forth.
Please, swear now to god and offer forgiveness.
Excuse the trauma that rages out of heaven.
It rained down like this before.
I saw London swallow whole the eternal demise.
It never exhaled this life, this evening, this being.
God left beauty for the angels.
The ugliness of change clings to his fingertips.
Such violence.
But sit, crouch, cry out into the nothingness that now stretches endlessly.
And pull apart that blackened struggling heart.
Which heaves with knowledge and remembering.
Then wash it out with diamonds and blood from those who cared.
Smile towards heaven and forgive those there.
Redemption bears down on all.
Then cry out black tears which curdle in the air.
While the world wipes clean and shudders into tomorrow.


Assumed

She skipped the part about love.
Knowing herself was the only one to trust.
Quietly she resolved to a life she knew was broken, but secure.
Setting her pride high up on the shelf, much higher than the pedestal would allow.
Where hands could not grasp and creep, and reach for it.
She swallowed and sighed.
And masked inside a pain, in letting herself down.
But making the others smile.
For in the end, what was it she was really trading away?
Not the freedom she had come to loathe.
Or the dreams that had never really sparked.
But only a life that came alive when the darkness would subside.
And she had only known a world that was an eternal eclipse.
A spot on the sun she could never shift.
In time she would not regret, but only forget;
how to hurt.


F(l)inch

The air is alive, black on blue.
A multitude of ravens, seizing the world.
Magpie eyes on anything that shimmers.
You unfurl and follow. Placing the ties that bind.
Half asleep, half blind to predicament.
But something murmurs. Something calls.
An unfinished business that followed from before.
Each step, eyes down.
Stepping out from a dream, feeling the floor.
A product of now, naked and true.
Let the feathers unfold, and roll into a climb.
Un-flinch. SkyWest. Un-crooked.
Drop the grey.
The waiting in line.
And sing, distant and near.
A song so many wish to know sincere.
Eyes closed, breathing in the new air.
And let your colours paint the sky.
Wiping across a new dawn.
And darkening their sheltered lives.


Save yourself/Serve yourself

Now that we are so anaesthetised.
We settle for blankness.
Without any compromise.
You suck the soul from us every day.
Filling the void with countenance and suspicion.
Such a beautiful paradox, what a time to be alive.
So lazy by design.
You wear the masks of the familiar.
Cutting the ties that bind us to our future.
And who are we to utter, the silent stutter into separation.
Your IS desperation to keep us scared.
There is no oil here, only pits of anger.
Bubbling to the surface.
Such disturbance now at the house.
The roaring of a mouse, of a nation who were followers.
Now numbering the chorus that’s out of control.
Democracy hangs in the air, like the miasma of the 18th century.
Fogging London once more with a noxious distaste.
We all wear our own tin foil crowns.
Crunching the bones of despair.
The Fear of standing for something.
I am but one of many, lounging in my paralysis.
A self-inflicted state of disconnect.
Waiting for the numbness to arrive.


Fake dawn

The stars are so bright tonight.
It sounds childish, that you want it to last forever.
You see the same in my eyes.
Stretching the night.
Trusting the darkness.
Tomorrow was a failure.
Today is weakened by the sight of it.
That returning thought of Saturn.
Shrinking once more into the horizon.
You marked it there.
It’s easy to hope for the dawn to take you.
Easy to grapple that hand of mine into yours.
Sending postcards and roses to your sixteen year old self.
A secret message that you made it.
It’s harder to wipe the sleep from your eyes.
Harder to beckon in the day.
Which threatens to stain us like the ones before.
When we were lonely.
And afraid.


Furious love

I caught you sleeping, while the city burned.
Napping, through the rappings of my beating heart.
How could slumber take you, when I have you here?
Locked safely in my soul for eternity.

Untold are the stories of my past.
Furious, like the waves you smash me across.
I pull you in close to me, to kiss the face I detest.
Those spinning sapphire eyes that cut me like diamonds.

There is fury in heaven, each time I touch you.
Words of regret encase me like a twisting vine.
Drink. Drink and love me how you should.
For the world will know; you only hate the ones you love.

All your talk of righteousness. Of Angels and men.
Keeps the light above burning, and my eyes to the door searching.
Leave, and let me love you from where I can.
Stay, and watch me hate you in every other way.

Then to snuff out that breath, is my gift to you.
To slit the sweet throat I’ve kissed a thousand times.
To swim in that crimson stream where your sirens dwell.
Is where my thoughts of redemption now reside.

Be quick, for the time is upon you.
And my sleight of hand has made its move.
I can love you for the next thousand years.
Sitting on that stone that marks where you lay.

I will find you in heaven, where the angels dwell.
Don’t look for me there, we’ll be burning in hell.


Assistance, then incapable

Wait, until this moment passes.
Captured in the heart.
Recorded now on my eyelids. The breaking waves of departure.
Moved out of London clay.
Planting me like an orchid into new surroundings.
You can lay tinsel over this new arrangement.
Speak to me in tones only my father would use.
Who my mother would marry, and then regret each day.
But the song has faded, and the spirit died like the Christmas tree of 97’.
I was the fruits of you conquest. That excruciating co-dependence.
Who was I to know that underneath you longed to devour.
This air I breathed. Or the words that caught in my throat.
Choked into a scene, a tableau of trauma that now hangs above my bed.
I was never awake as you were, in those days where we went from lovers;
to instant separation.
How supportive were those bruises on my heart.
Those creaking words of concern that masked the dictation.
You made me that child again, under my father’s fist.
Counting the seconds between shouts like the thunder between lightening.
Those storming days of youth
Watching as the need for validation crumpled into the corner.
Where I used to hide.
And you leave me now, shaking and stateless.
Yearning once more for the glance back over your shoulder.
Banished into my hypersensitivity.
Unresolved problems like a manic in-between poles.
Wondering if forgiveness is a pill I can swallow and no longer choke upon.
Hoping tomorrow still brings the sun.


Sensitive souvenir

Through painted eyes I see your heart.
Overflowing, submerged in milk and honey.
In that kiss, I feel the tenderness.
Which my soul has yearned for.
But like a pebble in my shoe.
A reminder remains.
That stain on my heart will never fade.
And those mistakes I will keep in the back of mind.


Easily defeated

Tugging at the strings of the universe.
Leading me back towards you.
A flight of the mind and heart.
The yearning escape of youth.
This time, I let you clip my wings.
A fear, solid; like a pebble in my stomach.
Hard like your own heart when the darkness spreads.
Finally crushed by the weight of love.
These thoughts of departure have been easily defeated.
Cast off into the wind that carries sounds of space.
For we can return to the beginning.
The solitary rock that tumbles through time.
Fossilised into dreams, for the future to discover.


Still

Sad footprints in the snow.
Leading us into the unknown.
The tiredness clings to our faces, having wasted such time.
Scratching and clawing our way into nothingness.
Silently they surround me.
Little birds of explanation.
Their vibrant feathers of understanding flutter in the summer sky.
How far had the fall been?
How deep did the chasm in my heart drop?
Never to be filled, yet clinging and yearning for the wanting.
For the void of the material.
Junk in the soul.
A whisper in my ear is not the breath of god.
The hand on my head is not an angelic caress.
It’s the apology I give to myself.
The embrace of my own arms, wrapped in forgiveness.
Head bowed in respect.
A stillness rises in me.
Loud like the winter.
Blooming like the spring of being the god within.
Sacred and defined.


Hesitate

Lay down in stars.
Sweet dust on the back of your neck.
I lick you there, into forever.
The heady taste of tomorrow.
But can you tell I’m faking it?
Caught between sleep and infatuation.
I want to love you, but I’m covered in shells.
Deceit and artificial reckoning.
The smell of the ocean.
A wave of self-doubt and your words in my ear.
The return of sadness.
That never truly left.


Take a bow

Nothing to fear, but the beauty unleashed.
As those velvet eyes unfurl for the world to shiver.
This collapse of an age, of a time now expired.
Blown into the dust of yesterday.
How heavy it must sit. The weight of youth.
Trapped in a moment, encased in expectations.
Those lips, sudden to crack like an earthquake.
The tuneful words scratch, like a raven’s song.
Beneath this magnitude, sits the one I love.
Grasping silently for escape.
I promise to take you away.
From here.


The Last days of sanity

You burned the books. Too many pages and insights.
A paper mountain of truths you couldn’t climb.
Ripping out the hearts of those lonely men who confessed everything.
In unintelligible writing.
How you move through us now.
A pulsing fire like the sacking of Troy.
You leave them restless and weak.
Numbed by those empty regions of your mind.
There is a fire in Heaven tonight.
A blaze that the tears of angels could not extinguish.
Yet it floods down here on earth.
A holy water that washes everything clean, but you.
That fire above reflects in your velvet eyes.
An empty pit of pity, where not even the righteous can escape.
But you pay no mind, for there is no mind to offer.
Flashing snow white bones to all who see.
As you move through once more, the Helen of your own making.
Laughing, as the Heavens fall.


Dawn

To kiss you into the night.
Would be more than I could pray for.
Lost in a world where you are my religion.
The transmigration I envisioned.
Waiting for that flash of crimson slitting the night’s sky.
Instead I made you cry.


Primitive

Talk and chatter with those hands.
Coarse and harsh in winter.
Teeth as marked as coffee cups.
Spitting out a fraction of a truth,
that you find in confusion.
Bless the wine and sign in time.
Propagate delusion.
Your bones weigh like sugarcane.
Eyes as large as saucers.
Drinking in the world once more.
A heightened state, licking the eyelids.
Hyperbolic antibiotic kisses travel up your neck.
That flash and capture. Printed for a new era.
Residing in memory, only for a second.
Locked inside a screen.
Assuming the algorithms will take you there.
And keep you safe.
But there’s fire on the horizon.
A progress that has yet to be found.
Pulling out of those snow drifts.
Ripping out honeycombed bricks of the world.
You bought the future, by selling the past.
Waiting for the ice age below.
Listening for such silence.


Restless perfection

Sometimes the flowers bloom in winter.
And never enough, is never quite enough.
I pull down the moon, and you beg for the stars.
As the diamond ocean laps at our feet.
To dig into our world for precious stones;
is the least I can do.
Perfect. Like thoughts of mother earth.
Your hand in mine for eternity.
Your tears are butterflies, set free on the wind.
Dancing beauty, little Chinese fans that flicker in the sunlight.
You are restless, you are wild.
Your pressure of commotion shakes the world into crimson.
Fervent reds, the dye of those who dream while wakened.
As the darkness flinches and the thunder clouds roll into nothing.
Your remarks on this day, and the marbled mayhem of your kingdom.
Slips into my heart.
Your words, soft on my cheeks like the happiness of my youth.
You are that Christmas present under the tree.
You are the tricycle I conquered.
The perfection of you never wavers. Never fades.
And never rest.
Always wanting more.


Incarnate

That tiny shattering, the minuscule shake.
As the day folds into time.
Blanketed by the night.
Which part altered today?
Which cell merged into spite and regret?
These little vibrations of change take us over.
The promises to be good, in the eyes of the sky.
Which pushes down upon us a new day, every day.
A bargain we make with the inner self, to be better tomorrow.
And tomorrow always comes.
Yesterday always dies.
But the change never does.
The saddening dance of decay.
We hum, fretful and forgetful of wisdom inside the DNA.
The angelic divine, hidden deep like buried treasure.
To mine, and chime the wonder underneath.
Where the blood swims, and the heart rages.
While the shudder in a brain, makes us start again.
For tomorrow will come.
And we have a chance to begun, once more.
Angels incarnate.


93

Lost, feeling the way out.
Travelling through the veins of god.
Hearing that global heartbeat.
I want to swallow the moon tonight.
To feel the tidal shift in my stomach.
To spit out the bones of the past.
And the well-travelled tin cans.
I touch this earth, and it feels like home.
Yet when my eyes blink open.
I am crushed by the weight of this world.
I belong here, but a million miles behind in time.
Waiting for the palm leaves and ferns to sprout in my veins.
I wish to return, and remain.
Eating forbidden fruit.
Running with the beasts.
Perhaps the change will come from inside.
Washing over me like conscience.
Seeing the divine in all that my eyes lay upon.
This is our home. It’s our only one.
Ninety three million miles from the sun.


Saints (attached)

The blankness of the shadows that pass.
Yet wonders dwell underneath.
Hidden stories that flow like lava mines.
Emotions running deep.
Eyes that meet on the train.
Skin that breathes all the same.
We are each a spark of light.
Glowing intermittently in the cold expanse of now.
Reduced down as the 20th century folded.
The devils may click their tongues, and hide in caves.
Dipping into those darkness pools.
But we are stronger in the sun.
Renewed and burning with a soul-ar flame.
And I move with purpose with an alleviated heart.
Often reminded of the angels I’m among.


Satellites

Let’s fall back to sleep.
And dream once more in starlight.
This earth will spin, creak and crack.
Like our bones in the frost of forgetting.
We hang luminously in the air, while they stare.
Watching this love unfold and bloom.
The greatest of treasures.
You are the gravity I need to steady my soul.
I am the light you need to behold.
For too long the darkness swallowed you.
Too long we spent walking the earth alone.
Now we dance like lunar moths, up above those heads.
Vibrant like the neon in our blood.
Silent like satellites.
Streaking across their raven skies.


Flowers for Harold Jones

Sunken, like thoughts of survival.
Down deep where the waters darken.
A purple bloom that summons your winter.
We lay the flowers over you.
Hoping the petals rot into your bones.
Bringing a colour and beauty, to your sweet decay.
The irises glisten still in your eyes.
Reflecting a dull glimmer, from the hospital sad fluorescence.
Your golden sparkle, now alchemized to ruby red.
We’ll cast your soul out on a sea of lilies.
Keeping your head above the serpentine reef.
Floating above those sunken ships of youth.
And poppies will adorn our flesh.
Pricking and pinching our skin.
Remembering the pain you were in.
As the opium tickles our minds.
And we see you laughing, once again.


Mechanical resistance

What was in your reach?
These moments, never your fault.
Lost, on the atom of life.
Suffocated by thoughts of another.
A commercial, in dreams; or spoken from a stranger’s lips.
That hums down the electric waves and onto screens.
My heart moves faster than this technology.
It tries to steal some air form the galaxy above.
To breathe, to sigh.
That is in my reach.
All that talk in spite and malice.
Dredging up the past like bodies from muddy river beds.
Leaves me shaking.
It must leave you breaking, hoping for the emptiness of space.
Fight the robotics that twist into your soul.
Soldering the devil into places god resided.
And break screens.
Shake the beams of the metal house that keeps you prisoner.
And let hubbled haemoglobin wash you from within.
Silently, even from those distant screams.
Folding back into the sky.


Downfall in disappointment

As it comes on with no surprise.
Like the lead in the paint that hangs on these walls.
The disappointment blooms, like you knew it would.
The little teeth of trust you let drop.
Like the milk bones of youth.
I will only disappoint, because you allow me to let you down.
You trap yourself in walls of expectation.
Painting them black and red.
Matching your eyes.
Which follow and watch with such greedy intent.
Drilling the holes in me that allows the dam to burst.
And flood this space with regret.
For these disappointments clink like the ice in your glass.
Unneeded, for you are already chilled to the bone.
Moving through the crowd, placing us like chess pieces.
High up on the pedestal.
Setting us all up to fall.


Quarantine

This isolation breeds such thoughts.
Dark and resentful.
Wreaking such havoc.
Splinters from conversations sucked from your mouth.
Now under my skin.
Into these veins.
The darkness carries itself, and I hear you in my heart.
Picking me apart.
From the inside out.


Altitude

The thinned air drifts through me.
Up on this mountain.
Where the pine trees and promises grow.
It’s such a long way down from here.
That great expanse below, the past and a world without you.
I hold a thought, like I hold you in my arms.
Carefully, and cautiously.
Smothered in love.
A little drop of wonder which coats my mind.
That thought of joy breaking out of a dream.
Solidifying into my snowy reality.
Up here on the mountain.
I follow your path, and watch you watch the world from here.
Counting the moments we have and your eyelashes when you sleep.
Holding down the universe for you.
Yet when the distant thunder rumbles, shaking what we have built.
I confess, my heart trembles.
The snow turns black, and in my dreams fear tumbles our love.
Crumbling, like a plane into a skyscraper.
Covering the land with dust and sadness.
But this thunder does not last.
Quickly it is banished to the darkest parts of sleep.
For now I wake and walk the mountain, inside this wakened dream.
Collecting all of you, like fallen leaves from the trees.
Keeping them in my pocket.
Up here, on our mountain which grows further from the sea.
Raising up to meet god and pierce into heaven.


Lune à l’esprit

These moments, like pearls on silver lips.
Gently spun and mouthed in wonder.
Consumed by the burning fire of solar saturation.
A golden treasure that I can sit beneath.
Counting coins and constellations.
Never equalling my love for you.
We are but pieces of a shattered moon.
That fell to earth when the world was sleeping.
They never knew how I kissed you, pioneered your love.
Discoverer. Sweet foreign terrain.
Unknown to them in the quietness above.
We are blank space and white noise in their muddled worlds.
Silent, like the dawn.
Tiptoe with me now, to the edge of the unknown.
These transparent moments.
Into the corner of god’s pocket.
Un-stitching fabric and time, eager to breathe the space of the infinite.
And air that sets my soul alight.
Burning the past and dancing on the surface.
Of a moon that those below can only howl at.


The Flowers of revolution

Have you seen?
God’s opportunity.
Inside psalms which scratch your heart.
Voices so strong they stabilise heaven.
Disappear and discover that new challenge.
Which calls you higher.
You remember the way I fell.
I remember your outstretched healing hands.
It’s my only reference point now.
Blooming the songs and suspicions in my mind.
How could you be so sincere?
This imagination comes alive and shakes me.
My snow globe mind.
And in mind of my defence, I used to not believe.
Your simple kiss changed that.
And shook me deep.
These flowers I now weep.


These moments are getting longer

(Pluck)
Be quiet.
Feel the feelings.
Quivering up your arm as the positive tension shakes in the air.
So cold, like eating snow.
This expansive wealth of circumstance.
Leaves you counting the coins of those around you.
You + Me.
Lost in a moment where you can’t sleep or dream.
What need is there but to just stop.
Hover, like a ghost; invisible in the snow.
You are the pioneer now of this love.
Staring up, hoping to find heaven.
Forgetting the footprints you left in your wake.
For the past disappears easily in the flurries.
In looking into my eyes.
Not knowing which direction the voice is calling you.
But still, you lead the way.
Still, you take my hand and cover me in safety.
In survival.
The price of this time together, keeps rising.
Cash in those coins, that gold; for nothing comes for free.
Not at least me.
And what we have is priceless.
What we have, is our own.


Now, most beautiful

By the church where no-one prayed.
In the corner sat your angel.
Weeping dusty tears while the universe cracked.
This second of truth, in a century of lies.
That angels cried. That god was still alive.
Such grave confessions.
If we ripped open heaven.
It wouldn’t be sky anymore.
There wouldn’t be a dawn to tomorrow, to a day you prayed would end.
Only the maddening loop of the well packed past.
Your angel sits and frames a beauty as the sun sets.
And the moon once more floods the heart.
We’re just diamonds and tears in the moonlight.
Lapped by the evening tide.
So write you wish in the sacred book, between thin pages.
Keep your dreams and your wants quiet.
I will look away.
Hoping the secrets never include me.
Then pass the book to that little corner.
And let the earth break open once more.
As the ascent of man can only come again.
At the restoration, not the fall, of angels.
The filling of love in god’s teeth.
That cracked on the sweet destruction of the old you.


Wings & Wounds

Moods that form like ice.
Primitive and wild.
Divide these thoughts one by one.
With the seed of hope lying in the heron’s stomach.
Out of sight, and beyond our boundaries.
The breaks of tolerance have worn away.
And the world calls me now, out into the dark.
Listen.
Dream about the future. The annuals of time.
Plastering over the cracks and the doubts.
But hollow is the past, honeycombed and fretful.
Don’t get lost.
Un-buckle and rewind.
Begin once more as the heron spreads its wings.
Looking up, what does it see?
What do you wish to feel?
Simple ponds and stagnant waters you wish to leave behind.
There’s a calling, from the sea.


Second guessing

Disappearing now.
The time came suddenly, like a Monday morning.
Calling you, as long lost friend.
You took a hold of the avalanche and held your breath.
Erasing all in a brilliance of white and gold.
No more tomorrow thinking.
Or second guessing.
Passing now into something else.
Not man made.
Between interstellar space, and home.
It was so easy to dive in, to dive through the dark this time.
Not like before, when you tried. When you failed.
And the water froze you like heartache.
A new terrain looms in your eyes.
This escape is now your land.
No longer the mistress or mister, the sister or ghost that your tried to figure out.
Your god.
Take the keys, and say goodbye once more to the floor which once pulled you.
An inconvenient gravity.
Breathe in, and out again like holy oxygen.
Disappear and explore.
Once more.


So central

This illuminating version.
Drifting.
Loving, only when the time is right.
When it’s uncalled for.
Who knew?
Who cared?
A scorched soul while the film played on.
And all roads led to the same.
Your heart curdled up tight.
Wearing out my mind.
Melting the plastic of the world we once inhabited.
Central now.
Gaining control of a need that was needed.
Crazy, only to know we were always driving.
Using our knees to steer.
Hoping to crash and burn.
In a beautiful, all consuming fire.
So central to our survival.


Windout

Be prepared for anything.
Little truths and indiscretions.
The joy will dig real deep.
As years fall away into memory.
You look forward, into my dreams.
Ignore those interruptions of life.
The wind in your chest breathes now.
This is your new religion.


Volcano

An island unto thyself.
In a sea of that swims and breaks with waves of discount.
You raise the flag on the mound.
That sword, you bring on down to me.
Yet I build a world around you.
Like a town on a volcano.
Climbing higher for a better view.
Yet a rumbling in the belly of the beast is heard.
Daily, I wait for black rain.
But hope for the sun to shine.
Yet the rumble can be assuaged.
As I climb to the lip and taste the lava.
Kissing your plume of red and dangerous fire.
On high, I can see the turrets of other kingdoms.
Their flags, bound and bright in the tropical sun.
Happy under the banner of the one.
Yet I remain, rooted to the hard cooled magma that is your soul.
Knowing the end, will have me buried like the people of Pompeii.
Frozen in time, in ecstatic pain and awe.


Salvaged in mid winter

I look for you, like a full moon rising.
Turning the tide on my sunken sullen state.
Each hour drips away, like a painting of regret.
Washed away in the fresh rains you bring to a crumbling soul.
You hold me carefully like a bruised apple.
The bloom of happiness spreading in my heart.
I hold your heart, like a precious artefact.
With tears that have now begun to retract.
Because of the light you shine on our patch of earth.
Those seeds sown in September, break through tough winter soil.
Finding new life from the Christmas lights that sparkle.
Dancing on the leaves, like frost in the morning.
Peppering our steps with a carpet of wonder.
This song will remain, and I will know its tune by heart.
Etched into these bones until time fades.
The harvest of hope in the winter cold.
A chance to dance once more into the future.
With you right by my side.


All the room you need

Illuminated, the folds of heaven.
Bitten torn feathers.
With plucked thorns from our skulls.
That you and me.
Bittersweet.
Red, like the veins of a tree in autumn.
Washed in golden light.
Drunk with sacred hymns that sing in your bones.
I see the lotus bloom in your eyes.
I want to hear your temple sing.
These snow covered aspects, higher.
Above the shelf we cannot reach.
Tickled by the zephyr underneath.
No longer the caged bird that sings.
But the sparrow that stole the sky.


Tender

Like the night. A soft velvet expanse.
Reaching through time.
Through misty eyes which open wide.
They devour me.
In a kiss that kills me, over and over.
Yet tenderly I swim down.
Passing jagged words you keep inside.
Released, only to the moon.
As you howl them into nothingness.
For tender is your way.
Sweet bruises of affection which stay,
within us forever.
As we nestle into the tender wings of love.
Slipping into time.


Enamoured

Are you ready, to drop from the sky.
For your bones to feel alive.
Forget that we’re miles apart.
Drift into the light, then dream and breathe me.
Be with me, as the night comes.
And time laps at our feet.
This is our moments colliding.
Walking away from hurt and the decay of yesterday.
Those healing words that rip across my heart.
That speak of times where a smile is etched across our lives.
An odyssey to tell by those we leave behind.
For these moments are precious and solitary to only us.
A grappling hand, in the chaos that today threatens.
Steadied and secure, cupped in my own.
In my eye line.
Which blazes with the light you offer.
Bottled, stowed and suffice.
Living. Here. Now.
Enamoured.


HAPPINESS OBLIGATION

A truthfulness we promised ourselves to be.
Thine soul in twine.
Cracked butterfly wings of gold.
Yet the oil got their first.
But we can shake the Texas tea from our mouths.
And sore higher into the moon shaped sky.
This crowing. A deep reverence for the promise we made.
That we whispered into our ears when we came.
Sweet words like honey into milk.
We can avoid the fault line that threatens like an injured bird.
Dragging our horizons down.
Pull up your crown, and remember the happiness we sung.
Wrote poems and lyrics to in our heart of hearts.
Take the hand that hurts, and heal with a severed ego.
A beauty that we owe to ourselves.
An apology just for you.
A remembering of the happiness we deserves.


Emanations from the one

Bright lights twinkle on these hundred million pieces.
Locked moments of time.
Flashes of smiles now suffocated.
In a joy that squeezes and binds.
You drew the stars when the clouds robbed the sky.
In my sleep you float like a million moons on the tide.
Dust and light, blanketing my heart.
When I wake I’m still soaking in these dreams.
A bewitching glow of a secret only I know.
You, holding back the waves and the dark.
Plunging a sword into the sea of sadness.
Letting the world know I was stronger.
One kiss makes the galaxy explode.
And I live out that day, covered in starlight.
And thoughts of home.


Tears of futility

Rested, like carat gold.
On a relief that sits inside our hearts.
Heavy, and stuck inside such circumstance.
Were you grounded, or too afraid to fly?
Salt may corrode this weathered mind.
And tears flow on runways down my cheeks.
In the face of such disappointment.
Locked once more in the hanger of thoughts.
And memories of loss and stained souls.
Yet the stars beckon and entice.
Calling you higher.
A calling that whispers in your veins.
So easy to take off, but harder to fly.
Impossible, when you’ve let the world clip your wings.
For the illusion of maximum highs.


Shroud

Awaiting for the darkness to pass.
For a sting’s throb to relent.
Deep in this cave of uncertainty.
Where the buzz of doubt floods and overwhelms.
Yet there is a peek, a gentle stab at the white veiled sleep.
The sunshine finger of light that inquires into the bowels.
What beneath the shroud is alive or dead?
The smell of decay sits too absently now in the air.
You know what was buried there.
For you killed it with your departure.
Yet as the birds sing their larkening song.
That threatens a spring in winter.
So too the shroud is awakening.
Dropping its ghosts and mangled possessions.
To breathe and live once more.
And taste the April showers and life’s new blooms.


Emanations from the one

Bright lights twinkle on these hundred million pieces.
Locked moments of time.
Flashes of smiles now suffocated.
In a joy that squeezes and binds.
You drew the stars when the clouds robbed the sky.
In my sleep you float like a million moons on the tide.
Dust and light, blanketing my heart.
When I wake I’m still soaking in these dreams.
A bewitching glow of a secret only I know.
You, holding back the waves and the dark.
Plunging a sword into the sea of sadness.
Letting the world know I was stronger.
One kiss makes the galaxy explode.
And I live out that day, covered in starlight.
And thoughts of home.


Stars come out (to light our way)

Don’t take this from us.
As the heart hovers and throbs.
An unending passion that is born in the slightest smile.
And the most agonising cry.
Your words caved in as the world collapses.
Ushering happiness and banishing the ghosts.
What worlds do we hope to die?
Which ruins threaten to drag us down?
You meet me on the dock, that inches out into space.
Into time, dappled in joy and the yet to become.
Like a swirling candied apple planet in our hands.
And we dip our feet into stars.
Watching it all from above.
This sudden shudder and retract.
Of a past that wishes to bury itself.
In a book so eager to close.
The whisper in my ear as the night fades, is you.
Promising me tomorrow.
As dawn washes into my eyes.


Warm like gold

Right now, my heart’s like thunder.
And the rain is threatening to wash the pain away.
This touch is golden, like the light in your eyes.
And I know I can rest inside a while.
Listening to nothing but silence.
And you.
Gold, in every little part of me.


Heavenly body

I have swam, unabashed, in your seas.
And trampled through your forests.
Following the rivers of veins in your wrists.
Hoping to map out your beauty.
Forgetting your soul lies deep within your planet.
Waiting to be moved by the seismic shift of trust.


Broken blossoms

Heady vacant leaves blow in from the past.
Caught in the teeth of wisdom.
The coldness of a touch, when war has begun.
Leaves all but the strong shaking.
A flattening of houses and trust that was built.
Crumbling and grumbling in the ruins of despair.
Who takes you there?
To the banks of a river now black like tar.
Awash with the rubbish and junk of petty squabbles.
This fighting is good for only the undertaker.
Who buries our souls and dignity at night.
When no-one is watching to see the sad failure of hope.
A scab of regret will build and tower over this land;
this heart, and this space we’ve placed ourselves in.
The devil lines the walls with sickly cement of apathy.
Only god can peel it back and flick away the decay.
Letting the scars heal in the light and air of tomorrow.
As we bathe in holy water and the tears of trying.


A Funeral of thoughts

An earthy taste in your mouth.
The soil that slips from your lunar lips.
Is a burying of the old.
Broken thoughts grown frail and forgotten.
They’d rambled in your mind like an aged pensioner.
One that no-one bothered to check on.
Whose milk bottles of intent built up on their doorstep.
These thoughts tried to slip away in the night.
Silently and painless in the light of a new day.
In the light you bring.
Those thoughts that are the shadows of self.
From the dark side of the moon of the mind.
Fearful of the sun, that shines from your eyes.
Dirt, on my pillow when I wake.
Burying the thoughts in dreams masked as nightmares.
Finally, dead and buried.


Blood is thicker

The red lights blur inside my skin.
Casting reflection on the mood I’m in.
A soured feeling of discontent.
The angry ebb of self-descent.
Yet neon blood flows inside my veins.
A pumping pressure which starts to gain.
That travels north from my deep south.
And splatters the truth from out my mouth.
Though shock is not my best intention.
Or to hurt, out this invention.
But to state boldly and from love.
That the only thing we share is blood.


Sex

Who told you how to do it right?
The love makes you whole as it takes control.
Dipping fingers into seventh heaven.
That goes in there?
That goes with that?
Just close your eyes, and we’ll all look the same.
A naked Jesus. A naked soul.
You say, not to stop it now.
Sliding into another night.
Finding more truth the deeper you go.
Wondering if the others will be touching themselves.
Those other voices.
Watching and unstoppable.
A sigh, is a cry in a prayer that is finding its way.
Just say you’ll stay.
Here.

 


Turning Blue

Why is my world painted red?
No home, no hope, no heart.
Cast on a raft headed to the end.
Your vermilion tongue spits these thoughts.
A fever and the fakery that expands.
Yet these lies break in my hands.
And the hope swims beneath.
Blue and enticing. Like the ocean in god’s eyes.
A Sweet expanse of blue.
And nothing like you.


In sleep

Waiting, till we’re lost and quiet.
Caught out in a silhouette.
These shadows cover the eyes of the brave.
A needle of swords that keep the monsters at bay.
This flesh is tired and tied to a thought that cannot be released.
So I fight them in my sleep, these monsters that creep into my world.
The séance that claws and fumbles like talons at our skull.
Realised, this is damaging and bruising to the honest.
The silence in us, is forcing a defeat.
Demons, who walk with unabandon across my sunlit life.
Mocking us like a bag caught in the branches of a tree.
So I fight them in my sleep, these monsters that creep into my world.
Harkened the darkened voices that breathe and heave.
Calling and coming closer to me.
Whispering of a madness that covers us like ghostly intrigue.
But the morning never banishes the voices of disorder.
For which such havoc is birthed from the words that now live and breathe.
But we can fight them in our sleep, these monsters that creep into our world.
It’s the only place they can be defeated.
In dreams. In sleep.


Precious little pulse

The earth inhaled as I held my own breath.
You waited to breathe again.
Gold expanded in your lungs.
Midasly watching and waiting.
I counted the heartbeats.
The darkness between us and the moon.
Everything added up, yet made little sense.
Your bones are getting tired while you turn blue.
And a distance begins to grow in your eyes.
One kiss for good intentions.
A step back for a wrong turn.
We are angels in flight.
We were wings above the ocean of thought.
I counted each eyelash while you dreamt.
I waited for you to breathe once more.
And though you stand there with gold pouring from you.
Your smile is more precious than a sky of sapphires.
Or a river of rubies.
As we sail on, with your hand in mine.


Stalling

A rusted heart, worn by tears.
Breaking down, in a broken town.
This heartbreak city of shattered dreams.
The water got into the fuel.
The hate got into the love.
Churned and exhausted all.
How long were we running on empty?
As the metal flayed and tore into our flesh.
Juttering to a stop, a stalling of hearts.
Roll down the windows of our eyes, and see where we have ended up.
A place I hate to be, detoured and gotten lost.
The wheels are coming to a stop.
Stalling, and likely to forever remain.
Or to corrode in your acid rain.


Violence

Still sleeping with the light on.
Yet the shadows find you.
Creeping, and licking at your soul.
Silently, they claw at your throat.
Spilling your dreams across the floor.
Tomorrow sits on your windowsill watching.
Yesterday slithers out the backdoor.
You let the violence inside when you stopped believing.
When the prayers ended, the devil crept in with the rain.
It eats you from inside, this doubt.
Spins your soul on a thread to weave into nightmares.
These days, your empty bag of bones drifts through the hours.
Captured in screenshots with vacant eyes and sad smiles.
Even god cracked open your skull to peek inside.
But all she found was dust and despair.
I can squeeze the blood and pain from you now.
I can rest the history of the decade on your spine.
Hearing the vertebrae crack and crumble.
Then rip the cells apart looking for love.
But there will be nothing to feel.
Nothing makes waves on your silent sea.
For you are numbed to the world and your own salvation.
Collapsing eternally into now.Still sleeping with the light on.
Yet the shadows find you.
Creeping, and licking at your soul.
Silently, they claw at your throat.
Spilling your dreams across the floor.
Tomorrow sits on your windowsill watching.
Yesterday slithers out the backdoor.
You let the violence inside when you stopped believing.
When the prayers ended, the devil crept in with the rain.
It eats you from inside, this doubt.
Spins your soul on a thread to weave into nightmares.
These days, your empty bag of bones drifts through the hours.
Captured in screenshots with vacant eyes and sad smiles.
Even god cracked open your skull to peek inside.
But all she found was dust and despair.
I can squeeze the blood and pain from you now.
I can rest the history of the decade on your spine.
Hearing the vertebrae crack and crumble.
Then rip the cells apart looking for love.
But there will be nothing to feel.
Nothing makes waves on your silent sea.
For you are numbed to the world and your own salvation.
Collapsing eternally into now.


Lifing

The curse of life, that brings you down to pray.
Everyday.
Fresh chaotic ordeals that scrape and scratch at a heart not born to break.
Yet fade, in its inevitable decay.
This life, this time.
Yours and mine, held in the palm of fate.
Tickling the future by what we do today.


Burn upwards

You, like a million pieces of an eclipse.
Falling on me like a Friday night.
You pepper my world with smiles.
Like stars peeking out of the black blanket of night.
You take me to such gravity.
You ask me to disengage.
A resistance that seems futile as I wash in your orbit.
Streaming down into the sapphire sway of your words.
Licking at my mind.
You, like a light in a field at night.
Leaving circles across my heart.
I count the halos. I watch for the dawn.
And you stay.


The Ballad of Nancy Stokes

Clouds rolled in, all over the small town.
The air alive with the smell of chip shop grease and cheap aftershave.
Saturday night, alive and loud.
But not Nancy.
At least not by the end. Down in the canal.
Left to be found by old Mrs Clarence, off to the shops on a Sunday morning.
Her small dog Terry, sniffing at the banks where poor Nancy rested.
Her head covered in an old Tesco carrier bag.
But that night before, she’d dressed up to the nines.
No Tesco tiara threatened her styled hair.
Scraped back with mouse and anticipation.
For the dancefloor awaited, and the eyes were wet.
Leary sockets soaked in her moves.
The jostles and gyrations of decade old motions learned to entice.
To ensnare.
Those oiled men, with receding hair.
Nancy left her friend, who’d found Jesus in the bottom of a vodka bottle.
And then in the stall of the toilets which stank of desperation and piss.
With sticky kebab hands soiling her jeans and soul.
Where Nancy went, nobody knows.
But they left her her clothes at least.
Soaking in the green waters of the canal.
Where Mrs Clarence found her.
Nancy Stokes. The 40 year old girl who loved to dance.
But never learned to swim.


Set the birds free

Where are you going to?
The voice asks, cold like decision.
To set the birds free.
And act, long forgotten.
It had covered over into memory.
By the tide of life.
What will happen?
I do not know, I replied.
Opening the veins, so god could peek inside.
They did that once before.
And we never forgot.
Yet this now seems strange to you?
Yes, because the birds usually nest in the garden.
Not in your heart.
This morning, I will set them free.
Then do it quickly, for I cannot watch.
Does the action bother you, the flapping of wings?
No, not that.
I cannot stand to see freedom, when I’m still locked inside.
The birds inside you I fear, have died.
Yes, but yours can still fly to heaven.
They will fly free at least.


Indemnity

‘Stay’, was a word that hung in the air.
Everything else was torn down, packed and registered.
Brought out of the vault to tally up.
Staying meant deserting me.
It was something they could not understand.
The pieces of a life quietened.
Dormant dreams that may never awake.
‘I need a love that’s stronger.’
Was all that could be mustered.
From a breathe that was losing air and strength.
‘Then never think of me’, they said.
Closing their eyes to a mounting disaster.
One that came in with the rain.
That day I left.
Impossible words ringing in ears that had heard such sweetness before.
Closing doors that would never again be opened.
The price we pay to save ourselves, when our worth is so low.
Pales compared to the devil, who sits in the shadows.
Tallying up our souls.


Lifting

Vanishing points appeared on the ceiling.
Little holes in my veins.
These little deer that course through the bloodstream.
Looking for the forest from the trees.
You force me to close my eyes to a world so hung in regret.
Precarious, like a spun sugared spider web.
Catching daydreams and ideas of escape.
That lifting.
Yet submerged in a dream where the walls crumble like chalk.
A hallucinatory step into monumental design.
Copying my name into the book of the dead.
That book that I read, where fate can be altered.
And we can change the path of time.
Which now forever ticks in my head, as I swallow each new morning.
Choking on the aftertaste of yesterday.
Lifting into a dream.


Sky burial

Make way for sad opportunity.
An internal march into time.
Who here has the energy, to battle any longer?
Only kings know when their time is done.
How to lay down forever, which position do we wear?
Tired and tested.
Joyful and sublime.
Making way for time’s sweet blanket.
We do not crawl to the end.
Or lie here waiting for the angels to carry us.
We hurry, back and forth between moments that mean nothing.
In the eyes of god, or the great beyond.


Lay me down

To sleep, in a dream that never wakes.
Flying on stars and tears tonight.
Lay me down.
Into the air or the earth.
For that is where my soul seeks silence.
Covered for a hundred years, a thousand tears.
Rusted and weak.
Lay me down, to sleep.
And tell me stories of the future.
A harkening of new truths.
When this time has died into a yesterday.
I will wake, and drink the world in again.


Grotesque

A loathsome sea of smiles in the afternoon.
Faces spasm to an uncontrollable joy.
You. You set the tiger in me free.
Lurching about the jungle, tangled in vines of love.
To shake these eyes, does not make your image fade.
To deaden my nerves would only make you feel cosmic.
As your lips find mine, and the stars explode.
Yet a war rages within.
A battlefield littered with bloody pieces of my heart and mind.
Engaged in conflict, fighting to be heard.
Yet the grotesque display goes on.
My hand, pulling for yours in the setting sun.
Love. Such a sickening sight.
Outrageously inhabited and warm.
When all around, the world is so lonely.
And so cold.


Climb to the air

Great opportunity led me here.
Sang the bird who sits on my windowsill.
My feathers are worn, and my wings are tired she said.
Watching the shadows cross the room.
How many oceans must she have sailed over I pondered.
What sights to have seen, soaring across bus stops.
Why do you come to me, I queried.
She whistled and cocked her head.
For that worm in your mind of course.
I closed my eyes and watched it slither then.
Oh, I answered; knowing what she meant.
That doubt has grown, and now writhes inside you.
I know. I replied.
So you’ve come to take it away? I asked curiously.
The shadows seemed to retreat now.
She hopped and chirped. That little new friend on my windowsill.
Yes, and to make you fly again?
She flew then into my skull, I could hear her in my head.
Flapping and flailing like a moth by a light.
My soul. My conscience. Trapped inside, for a moment.
How will you make me fly, I wondered.
She heard these thoughts of course.
And she answered, as she gobbled up that fat worm of doubt.
To remind you, you have always had your wings.
You just feared to take off.
Scared to try.


Head for the horizon

The cuttings of a life, strewn over floor.
Burning the house down.
Taken all the youth you could carry.
Watched and charted.
By faces with a lack of sincerity.
Living only as ghosts in a mind;
now tired of putting out the fires.
Of keeping wolves at bay.
Tinsel traces of the familiar.
Staining the past.
Yet born to run away.
Who remains, to entertain?
Just swallow your feathered fear.
And head for the horizon.


Dream

Though sleep masks the state.
A dreamless weight, covers me.
Clouds of possibilities blow in through the holes in my veins.
Delicious golden fires dance across each eyelid.
Who stole the sun each night, and welcomed a darkening miasma?
One that feels warm, like a hug in the snow.
Dreams comes.
I never sleep anymore, only dream.
Tales that betray the words I use at day, break of the old logic.
You call me tongue tied, twisted and turned like a rooted tree.
These dreams, take me.
Gliding over rooftops and memories I long ago thought I had drowned.
The danger is to dwell in these dug out magic grooves.
But nothing now pulls me back.
Nothing else saves me.
Dreams.
That’s where you will find my mind, as it switches off the light.


Years subside

Twilight and daybreak intertwine.
Casting shadows and dawn on these eyelids.
People come and talk to me of passion.
Then they linger, and talk to me of death.
I feel stuck inside a moral station.
Watching the trains as I in decide.
I feel a murmur of god, yet the call of the wild.
Battling against the push of gravity.
No longer feeling its pull.
How the years have folded like a napkin in my lap.
Dirty and used.
Yet I wonder. I wonder if I’m hungry still.


Beauty lost at the Heron house

The world collapsed in thirty seconds there.
A beauty aged in a moment while the rose petals died.
Who faded into the future, without the knowledge of the past?
We all did.
We came once to that spot, to watch the herons dance.
To see how they cast their wing’s against a backdrop of stars.
Through tears we watched them fly, soaring along our fingertips.
But we did not know, or care to wonder;
if they’d ever return.
And the days folded into years while the crows walked across our faces.
Milking our eyes into the blurred canvas before us.
Sight dancing into all but silhouettes.
What was destroyed there, at the Heron house?
Was it love? Was it power to hold in the wells of your hand?
Surely love never dies. Love always saves the day.
But beauty was lost forever there.
When it was valued more than gold, in hearts that feared to fly.


This decision is mine

Try not to breathe, don’t let them see the fear in your eyes.
Trap those voices in formaldehyde, while you hope to swim away.
Try not to cry, they have never even thought of escaping.
Trapped in a prison of smiles, and a thicket of shadows.
You are the deer, so close to the earth.
They are the rocks that they sometimes throw.
Hoping to hit, scrape and bled you.
Try not breathe, they will never hear through the distance you speed.
Crashing through the forest of fears.
Rising into the light.
Leaving tears in your path, only for the years you wasted.


I Miss my ocean

Sand. Dirty sand and soil.
Dust in my mouth and coating this skin.
A film of sweat covers me.
Sticky heat and restless.
I miss my sea, the ocean that bore me.
Tranquil and deep like the pools in my mind.
To drift and meander across its aqua stretches.
Calms the blood that torrents through me.
I miss my sea, my ocean.
At times stormy, but full of life.
Threatening to pull me down to the ocean floor.
Where I can be alone, and able to heal.
The arid heat and air of this desert itches my eyes.
Scratches at the very thought of going on another day.
The salty air calls me back.
A maelstrom of reasons directing my compass.
To ride over waves and rise with Atlantis.
Reaching a trident back up to god.
So I shall make my way, and crawl back into the sea.
One which always welcomes and cherishes me.
Washing everything clean, and cooling my soul.
I miss my ocean.
I miss my sea.


Pieces

Pieces float in the blood.
A crimson river, drawing up to space.
Flowers smashed into oblivion.
Only to remain. As particles of dust.
Floating inside you.
Dusting your eyelids and tainting your tongue.
Lilies and lilacs lifting into a dream.
Lifting in the pulse and throb of the heart.
Blooming in particles while they orbit your organ.
That heaves and struggles to understand.
The demise of such beauty.


The Star tonight

Deeply spun, sugar turn.
On this memory in my head.
Eating lotus flowers in the sun.
It never rains.
Now, the canvas is self-populating.
While the bees buzz like poets in despair.
Always on, like an evangelical station.
Trying. Try. Tried.
Succeed.
The greatest to ever awaken.
All sussed out and ready to shine.
Like the weekend every day, and Friday in his eyes.
He doesn’t even need to try.
They may forget him in a turn of the page.
The turn of the screw of humiliation.
But they cannot forget how he made them feel.
Leaving lotus leaves and petals on the floor.
Climbing back to heaven.


Epiphany in bloom

Dark. Night.
Always black when our eyes are open.
The glittering of stars on our eyelids, just moments already gone.
We forget the gates are never shut.
Just hard to see in the dark.
A charcoal covering that we forget is all but soil.
Covering us until we choke.
But we are far from death.
We have a need in the seed we clutch in our hands.
The soil, this space is here for us to grow.
To bury us deeper, like the root that draws up from beneath.
We choose the season, for heaven remains.
Never locked, but moving around the sun.
We look inside ourselves and see the seed we wish to grow.
The worms and the decay, you have the chance to sweep away;
and breathe new air above.
Begin at the beginning, and sow the seeds of hope.
Water them with happy tears, and sweat from being tested.
From a warmth not from the sun, but from a love invested.
In changing. In growing.
For all the world a knowing; that we create the garden.
We grow what we wish to see.
And they can smell like death or destiny.


View from the top

These sights wash these eyes like concrete.
Nothing moves me.
There is an absence of surprise now in my bones.
The world unfolds before me, much the same as it did yesterday.
Ashes never change.
It’s such a shame that everything stays the same.
And all these prayers go unanswered.
The wasted youth of trying to figure it all out.
Coming up empty.
Pots of fool’s gold and the things unneeded.
Yet bought at such a price.
The devil counts the souls as the sun goes down.
These conversations I have now, should be with myself.
Ten years ago.
Instead of to God.
Who always only ever laughed.


Love

Nobody knows what love means to you.
The bud of a rose in your life.
Or the darkness that creeps under the door.
You cannot convey, explain or say how it makes you feel.
As it fills your soul.
Or leaves you suddenly, like a bird taking flight.
Love sinks down into your DNA.
It washes over your desert like a great flood.
Trapping those grains of sand of you beneath its waves.
You will never put into words, how your love makes you feel.
Or when there are only ghostly embers of it, dying in your eyes.
Love, so relative.
And relatively unclear.


Come to disappear

More pain in her heart than a bomb over Japan.
She clicks her heels, but nothing happens.
More alone than home.
She darts into the traffic, proud and defiant like rhinos on the Serengeti.
This was her town, but from it now she runs.
Her tears falling like skyscrapers.
Down into the rain and the black streets of London;
that tries to coil around her feet.
The slinking snake of society.
She runs out, down and up into onto the lampposts until they change to trees.
And she feels the nature breathe back within.
The racing rats she leaves behind.
Throwing her phone and her tolerance into the trash as she departs.
This was never for her.
She comes now, out into the greens and browns that match her eyes.
Seeing the vista swim into view like a quiet paradise.
She comes here, to disappear.
She comes to survive.


London burning

Heavy scented air, the smell of ash and autumn.
Of change brimming like a supernova.
To watch only, yet still participate; leaves me shaking.
That blood on the sky, smeared into a ruby rose.
It stains my eyes and heart.
I watch as London burns with a fire of sadness.
Of a past ignited into nothingness.
But I’m not looking for someone to blame.
Those flames lick like a consequence that is buried deep in my hands.
Red and scorched like god’s eyelashes.
Choking out the hope and happiness.
It rages on, bringing ruins to our appetites.
Finally snuffed out by huge holy tears.


The fall will kill us both

Walking on this wire, I see the sea below us.
Cool and deep like the thoughts of mother earth.
Take my hand, there is nothing to catch us if we tumble.
Down into the shark filled ponds of loneliness.
Where our bones will turn to coral.
And you will dig down into the sand.
Foot follows foot as we walk.
Inching along the eggshell laden rope.
Banana skin memories drop like raining frogs.
I profit from my certainty, that these plagues are temporary.
Hold me if I slip, and I will catch you if you stumble.
Walking on this wire. We must be careful.
Because the fall will kill us both.


I Still do dream

Though the rising tide is threatening.
Seeping water into my bed.
I left myself to dream.
Hearing the lapping of tomorrow.
I pulled back my sleep and felt home.
Disappearing into treasures found deep within.
Waiting to join you.
Waiting for the oyster to show the wonder.
Replacing your cat’s eyes with pearls that reflect.
Angelic underwater adventure.
I lost my name there, holding out for you.
Holding your hand.
Brave with mother of pearl armour against the terrors of the deep.
I see your eyes, the pupils that dart like caged birds.
Wondering when I will wake.
Wondering why white turns to black.
And the treasures turn back to lead.
I left you there, down with the creatures who sang those tunes.
Left behind, like I was when I was young.
Everyone leaves you.
By the water’s edge.
On the precipice of a dream.
The only place I can ever find you.


Desert eyes

To walk the sands of time, to find the doorway to heaven.
Leaves me breathless.
You put your hands on this skin, and I succumb.
Unabated astral movements behind my eyes.
To know you from somewhere, is to feel you under my skin.
As my blood crashes down the sand dunes on the walls of my heart.
I left you, and found you there.
Waiting for me where the moon sinks and threatens never to return.
With honey wine still on your kiss, I will not function.
I slip into another consciousness.
Walking in a dream that quivers on god’s fingers.
Kiss me from drying, and wake me once more.
Let me disappear into your arms that comfort me like a blanket against desert cold.
And I will wash these tears away in the pools of your eyes.
That offer such sweet safety swims, to the desert floor.


Jaws

Those words that flowered down in your skin.
Tickling like cancer.
A love that swelled like a harbour masters fear;
at the sight of storm.
You put this in me. I drank it in.
Siphoned off the flames like a bird of paradise;
flying towards the sun.
Down into the roots of your stomach.
Innocence searching, now lost in moments just begun.
Borrowed, broken. Black and blue.
Rubbed off skin, down to the truth and bone.
Hold me in your jaws, feel the juicy love between.
Swallow me.
Tastes like goodness.
Tastes like emptiness.
For in the morning, I am gone.


Crumbling god

Swollen like a great regret.
In time, the struggle will fade to a new trauma.
You’re lost to him now.
Broken in too many places.
A mutual core of suffering that bruises one another.
Is up to you? (It never was).
Grave disappointment wiped across his eyes.
And still you decided.
To enter the church.
Coughing against the incense and nonsense.
And allow him to pray once more.
It’s not up you (It never was).
To answer their prayers.
To save him.


ANCIENT WHISPERS

Which perfect sorrow do you submerge us in?
A fragile prayer you left on my kiss.
Conquering sweet darkness.
Come, golden whispers tell me of the future.
Behold the glory, that tastes like immortal tears.


EVERYTHING (सर्वेषां स्वस्तिर्भवतु ।)

When the world wind weeps around you.
May the universe dry your eyes.
And happiness make you smile once more.
Sarvesham Svastir Bhavatu.
I cannot keep you safe from the conflict.
Or the wars within you.
But I offer you peace, from that of which I’ve known.
Sarveśām Shāntir Bhavatu.
You are taken from the mountain,.
You come in pieces.
And I too. But together we are more than less.
Sarveśām Pūrnam Bhavatu.
And if you fall, I will not catch you.
I will watch as you rise again.
And applaud your strength, with an outstretched heart.
Sarveśām Maṇgalam Bhavatu.


Drive

You wanted to make me believe in love.
Taking my hand and leading me down the highway.
Past the car crashes of former entanglements.
The scars ever present on my mind.
The road stretches ahead, but I’m caught in the pull.
Of trying to glimpse at the dead.
You’re trying to make me believe again.
Showing me peace on the horizon.
But my palm is sweaty, and the fuel is empty.
I wonder if we’ll make it.
But I push my foot onto yours.
And I climb inside your soul.
The pedal pushes and we fly, deep into the night.
Down the road of good intentions.


Hunted

Are you haunted or hunted?
Crossing streams of inky despair.
Trying to slip away into the night.
A hunted animal.
Arrow marked and sought out.
It is not the jungle you wish to return to.
The scraping spires of the city is the one you hope to leave.
But they won’t let you be.
You’re a hunted animal.
Wiping tears on leaves as you run.
Putting out the forest fires.
But soon your heart tires.
Still hunted.


empty waves

In the night, when the velvet dark covered my skin.
We walked the beach, feeling each grain of time beneath.
To look into the sky, was but to cast over a hundred million jewels.
Twinkling there like possibilities.
The ocean, so vast and endless lulled me with its tune.
And the ocean spray tempted me at first.
Drawing me in with ideas of Atlantis.
But now, the harsh sun burns down.
Cooking the salt in these wounds.
Listening for you in empty shells.
And now, all that’s left; is to hold my breath before your tsunami.


Coming up for air

All hypothetical disenchantment
How many slaps on the wrist till I get it?
Shaking with my allergic reaction to loneliness.
Call the birds down that circle above.
Peck out the disappointment and the idealistic out of this eye.
Leave to die, locked in a room where the skeletons chatter.
Locked out of heaven with the world before us.
Suddenly I’m turned down to darkness.
The dull flame that burns, struggles in the void.
Come home.
Race back and pull the car from the lake.
Only the headlights glow now under water.
The only sounds you hear are lakey tears.
Silent, in the watery body that covers me.


You only want the past to die

Cross this skin like rough terrain.
A bad road in every direction.
Cut deep with the scars of a warrior.
Battles won but never chosen.
You’ve earned those stripes that glimmer red in the sun.
After you’ve loved and left someone.
And danced with the lions.
Now they judge you if you choose to let go.
Escape the nest and break the bars.
Of a prison you took too long to leave.
For now the waiting‘s done.
And you choose to run.
Into a future you accept, with all its tests, wilfully.
Because it’s now your own.


Vermilion

In the struggles of my bones.
Sweet blood running free. Down to the edge of the world.
You didn’t ask me what I thought.
Which is why you left me there.
Predisposed to hope. As the world tipped over.
The oceans emptied into my soul, and I began to float.
Pulled by the moon in a turmoil tide.
The blood lapping at my mind.
Under such tearaway skin, your rivers run the same.
A scarlet surge of pain.
Inside, both still wet.
I want to carve you out of stone.
But your bones won’t allow it.
It keeps me touching your sweet face.
Feeling your heartbeat vibrate the sails that take you further away.
Off into that isolated horizon.
But upon these salty sands, carried by the red river.
I find your message, bottled up and ready to explode.
This doesn’t feel like an apology.
Only a declaration of freedom.
Signed in vermilion.


Disperse

It came with no warning at all.
As I stood in place, hoping it would evaporate.
But down to the marrow it went, like a hungry ghost.
Feeding on my sadness.
As i watched you disappear.
Wishful thinking, I was already dead.
For nobody finds hope in tears that run red.


Stain my sky

You stain my sky with your understanding.
Tipping me towards earth.
You allow me to walk in your grasses barefoot.
Smelling the flowers of change.
Dizzied by the fragrance your smile offers.
Forgetting there’s broken glass hidden in the rushes.
And that i’m allergic to mother earth.


Applications become the same

This Monday morning evaporates the weekend.
A horrendous hue of change.
Your absence now in my bed, as our bodies break.
Twisting the world apart.
The world, now on show for bright eyes and coffee headaches.
Stretching out the happiness as the day rolls into grey.
For without you next to me, I find it harder to breathe.
The eye blinks of necessity struggle under the weight of it all.
I do not mean to be a burden, of self-serving theatrics.
This production creeps out of the stage you set.
For each time you go, and the curtain closes.
I’m left picking popcorn and ticket stubs off my dirty heart.
Rushing once more for the weekend, to be first in line.
This heart a needle, in your hay.


Opium for the soul

I feel no pain. I feel nothing.
An uncomfortable numbness itching in my bones.
How your lips bring about such devastation.
Apathaites my heart and bubbles my blood.
Oh the sweet bends that rush, twisting my insides out.
You are the opium for my soul.
The novocaine for my conscience.
Which constantly waivers into unstable territory.
You keep my ghost steady as I walk this earth.
Getting high from the lows you put me under.
Feeling flight as you watch me crawl.
Love, such a compromise anyway.


Divination

What can you promise that will never change?
A predicable prophecy you find at the bottom of your coffee cup.
But this is larger than you or I.
A life of moments hung together like old Christmas tree lights.
This is me saying I love you.


particular illusions

To sleep under the stars, and to count the heavens.
A result of you burning my bed.
I lie on the cool grass and watch out for comets.
Racing from Olympus to Paradise.
I pulled off the ropes and entanglements.
Escaping with my life, but not my soul.
And now the clouds that cover the milky way.
Blotting out the moon.
Is just the smoke, from the ashes of our home.
Yet suddenly you appear, covered in moon dust.
With starlight diamonds in your eyes.
And you take my hand, and tip the sky over.
Shaking out the stars.
Promising me treasure to be found in our ruins.


Extirpate

Shivering into this new world.
Of a day broken over me like the sunshine egg yolk of realisation.
That an absence now fills this room.
A void as cold as winter, that settles into these bones.
Reborn into a version of such violence and void that my head aches into grey.
And my heart, slips away; into adjustment.
You folded us into memory.
A slight of hand that speaks with a voice of your reasoning.
Echoing now in my ears.
And my tears will turn to chalk.
While the plants die all around me.
A fate that flutters on my lips, like butterflies trapped in conservatories.
Glancing at the world around, yet smashing again and again against the glass.
Yet still you toil and dig at the weeds of my entanglement.
That curled around you like a summer’s blanket.
And you sheer, and slice.
Digging hard at my roots. Killing me a thousand times over.
Praying I rot away and turn into time.


stones & shells

To be the shell in your pocket, or the pebble in your shoe.
Allows the skin that covers you, to take me in.
Closer to your flesh that breathes.
And sees everything.
Closer to god.


Angular resolution

Lost to everyone but myself.
As I stream through the cosmos.
Touching the stars with my fingertips.
Pausing by the swirling galaxies that shine like glistening pools of diamonds.
Would I find you here?
Carved out of something seen by no-one but God.
You speak words of another time and place.
Resting softly in my head like feathers from the future.
Plucked from a comets tail which snakes back to earth.
Threatening the order.
Teasing from above like angels dropping thunderbolts.
All around but absent.
Could I lose you there?
In that place only you and I know of.
Cut in half if you begin to forget.
Faded in the half light of a dawn you once promised.
Erasing the earth like a solar eclipse.
Yet I feel you, on this night.
In this skin that’s cratered like the lunar surface.
And I touch the place you once kissed me.
Believing once more in ghosts.


humbled by such disgust

Undeniably threatened by such conditioning.
Undressing to the eyes of the easily criticised.
Such abuse of positions leaves me shaking.
Before, one after.
Waiting once more for the clock to heave and settle upon me.
Travelled to time zones beyond understanding.
Confused and abused notions of respect.
Never apologising to myself.
Painting each vertebrae yellow.
Only shadows behind those once wild eyes.
Corner darting to search for you.
Counting the orgasms and commitment that never came.
Amazing now with hollow bones and an absent mind.
What I gave away, you store in a room.
In a box.
Out of sight.
So never to tempt me to flee.
Left alone.
In a bath.
Bathing in your bleach.


Salt in the soul

What do you do, when cannot breathe inside?
As the voices pull and call you out to sea.
Caught on the tide of time.
The sun sweats out the salty dreams.
Moments of disconnection.
Burning and fizzing in the heat and spray.
On a day, far from over.
And though you try to ride the tide of change.
You only get battered, smashed against the rocky shores of truth.


PROBLEMATIC PROVIDENCE

The least I can do is, is to rip this skin off.
To strip the bones of the sinful wrapping.
Do you know, it is your body I wish to devour?
Sampling chunks of Christ to purify.
Oh my god, do you know what waters run underneath.
Holy and polluted, waiting to be washed by biblical floods of love.
Yet to detest all of it seems wasteful, for thou art in your image.
An image which feels like a memory.
Do you feast on me? Do you drink my blood?
How sacred is the house that sits on such rocky promises.
A church in the corner of the room where the shadows dwell.
Thy kingdom to come home to, when the world drives me out.
With each act of contrition, with each prayer I mumble.
Wanting, hoping, begging to be like you.
I sink and think, swimming in your brilliance, drowning in your light.
Wondering perhaps, if I am already my own messiah


CALCINATION OF A DYING ANGEL

A flicker in a flame that sets the beat.
Ticking over the tock of a time unravelling.
This flame that scotches the hands that hither.
Trying to love and caress, only to be burnt.
Those feeding fingers that crisp.
The smell of burnt skin and hurt.
Yet a call from within threatens mountainous shifts.
That this life of fire will burn to ash.
And a darkness will follow.
One where we can move without ever being noticed.
For in the dark, we can truly see ourselves.
And I will once again think of running away.


THE ISLAND

Sky west and crooked, that’s where you’ll find me.
Wallowing in the shallows of a spirit so deep.
No man is an island, yet here the land mirrors my form.
Hewn coarsely out of limestone and chalk, strong and cratered like the moon.
You may cast you anchor down to my sandy soil.
Hoping to raise your flag and conquer me.
As you explore what you think you now possess.
But a volcanic change of thought will turn these tables.
Collapsing all that lies in reach.
And we shall sink, beneath the waves of our doomed Atlantis.
To be spoken of in awe by those who follow our demise.


LATCH

The door is swinging, wide and heavy on its fastening.
Through it comes the night, the eerie mist of maddening intent.
The latch is forever broken, letting in the misery.
Sounds of hell and voices of those I love.
Or have loved, for the door does not discriminate.
It sends in souls and sounds that would rock such a fragile house on sticks.
Memories to twist and turn the rooms upside down.
And rain to lash at these windows inside.
Like tears on a mirror, slipping down the pane.
The latch unhinged, dusty and broken like an unwound mind.
Rusty and obsolete in its current state.
Squeaking it’s lament and apathy.
A quick fix, a drop of oil.
To keep the ghosts and the monster at bay.
Out in the other land of nightmares.
While I try to re-arrange this room of dreams.


EXUBERANT VOICES

The crystal bell in this head rings out.
Shattering the dark, sending the bats into flight.
Cavernous places these thoughts do dwell.
But the night light beckons and calls.
Whispers catch on the summer breeze.
Emerging back into a world unfamiliar.
They trickle down the spine, in thoughts so sublime that they leave me restless.
Waiting for the tide to turn.
How they put up streamers and plait the hair of my age into golden weaves.
Singing me to sleep with their lullabies.
These exuberant voices compete to lift this heavy spirit.
Bringing the heavens and the sky down to me.
But back in that cave, behind the rocks and darkness.
Lies a thought, a niggling worm at the core of me.
Now asking, these voices I hear; why are there more than one?


YOU ARE MY RELIGION

I feel your skin, soft and silky like bible pages.
Precious-sacred, and containing such wonder.
The church of your heart tolls the bell in my soul.
Calling me to prayer.
Forcing me to bow.
Anointed, and blessed while you crucify for a kiss.
Keeping my faith locked like a secret only I will know.
You are my religion.
Knowing I’ll always be devout.
Hallelujah.


INFRACTURED

This is where the call came in.
21.09 as the tables turned.
Nothing learned, and feeling fine.
It got a little cold out there baby.
Running the whole world on your lie.
Catching time, trying not to try.
But your control used to cover you.
Now it rolls you over, and you try to let go.
But no.
She wants a little more than you offered.
Coming now to pay the piper.
That pound of flesh you carrot dangled.
Creating such frenzied envy.
And now, here comes that awful feeling.
Smudged with eyeliner and regret.
And as your mouth rolls fables like marbles.
The truth with whisky garbles, like a politician camera posing.
I know you see her. I know you wonder how it will end.
In the end, you lose.


BURST

You paint the world now as you see it.
With shades of red and orange.
A tapestry of colour you lay now at my door.
And hope to wash away, this daily grey; that for years I did implore.
And you threaten and you contest;
that now all I’ll ever see is coloured rain and summer shades.
Whether my eyes are opened, or closed.


SWALLOWING TOMORROW

Who reads a smiling poet’s words?
Ones that bridge the chasm from heartache to heaven.
Do you care to wash in the tears of the lonely?
Or splash yourself in city rain, dirty from the walk of life.
These moments we catch and keep.
Lock inside where the heartbeats remind us we’re still existing.
Coveting and creating.
Moving and replacing like tectonic continents of sorrow and elation.
Self-serving commotion in a noisy crowd of others.
Screaming to be heard and praying to be forgotten.
Who wants to read a dead girls dreams?
Slashed away like the wrist on a foggy November.
Or trapped in amber to survive generations.
We are the pendulum kids, swinging from north to south.
Mouth and eyes open to catch it all and swallow as we fly by.
With tears in our eyes; not knowing if their happy ones or sad.


HEROIN(E)

Fire crack cackle in hushed shadows.
Little fingers about to be cut off.
What you say makes me shudder.
A creeping shiver left at the side of the bed.
A mind now full of kitty litter.
With the life looking and an ache to scratch.
Weakness, tossed out like surprise.
Sweetness that came in like a hammer to the glass heart.
Lick me up like spite, with a malice reduced down into silver spoons.
As I fall away from you.
And watch you choke on words and not loneliness.
It moves now in to post-blue passive aggressive.
Feeling the testosterone in our bones.
Angry, because you wanted it this way.
Embattled and emblazed with the world shouting us as well.
Waiting for the silence to once again smother our fires.


PALPATE

To make you consider, that what I see is real.
To crack this skin like a mirrored pain.
A reflective love dancing on the wings of happiness.
Clouded and scorched.
Licked and honoured.
A crumpling vision of everything.
Tapping now at this skull.
Did I force you to reconsider.
What treasures remain.
Whether it’s me, happy inside you.
Or just a vast ocean of pain.


ENGULFED

Coming up for air, and stealing the sun.
How long can I live underwater?
Pushed to drowning by the weight of your departure.
Collapsing like time.
Peeling the skin off my life like the rind off an orange.
Covered in mess. Bloody and sticky.
Yet nothing washes away.
Nothing drifts, except the pain into tomorrow.
And once again I’m fighting for air.
Alone, battling the waves.


A VULGAR DISPLAY OF GRATITUDE

From the light, to return to the luminous.
Stuck temporarily in the prison of earth.
But these bars are golden.
These chains are studded with diamonds.
Like frozen tears of god.
We flutter on the eternal, like the birds rustling in the trees.
Leaving feathers of time behind and staining history, reminding the past that we flew.
Soaring, tumbling and splintering the great beyond.
So do not frown at the darkening sky.
But be thankful of the threatening rains to wash all this away.
For we have spent so long in the desert, picking over each grain of sand.
Holding them up to the sun to see the universe within.
The sunlight with signify, capture and purify our days spent.
Marking each on with a rebirth and departure.
As we sail in-between, on a sturdy ships of dreams.
Reaching the never ending shores of the incomplete.
Falling off the ends of the earth.
This earth, this state, this grounded place.
Is here to test the spirit and liberate the soul.
So give thanks to the world that is dark and foreboding.
One which seeps in like oil to the heart.
And bow, and pray and thank the creator.
For giving us the chance to spread these heavy wings.
To soar up and switch on the light.
And bathe us once more in golden fires of the absolute.

 


UNDER OCTOBER SKY

Beneath the quietening of this heart.
Cracks a thunder, like an electric storm.
Stinging my teeth while the haemoglobin clouds roll on.
You came searching for me.
Under that October sky that fell down like sympathy.
White sheets stained red and corridors that endlessly led,
to nowhere.
I cannot see all of you in the slit through my eyelids.
While my bloodstream is awash with dizzying correctives.
Which condition should I wear?
Is this but a dream spun from those salty lips?
That kissed me last night as I climbed the walls once more.
Doubtful, for you were gone.
A room devoid of your expansive endurance.
Which explains the circumstance.
The sad tale of happenstance.
Which led me down here.


SAVAGE RECONSTRUCTION OF SELF

Through heavy storms this heart doth beat.
Battle born and weary.
Feathers frayed liked angelic irony.
Patched and nearly severed.
Where do you go to be reborn?
While wolves lick between your teeth.
And though pregnant hopes swell and ebb.
Through cobweb sticky emotions, and distance in your eyes.
The cries of sincere doubt corrode quickly in your salty waves.
Smashed into pieces upon your unwelcoming rocky shore.
Yet something crawls out of the ocean.
Something that slayed the terrors of the deep.
To reach up and scale that towering mountain.
That you placed there to warn those out to sea.
Of how close to god you now sit and suffer.
How away from us you wish to be.


THORNED LOVE SPINED

I found myself reaching for you.
Closing the gap between half worlds away.
Pulling space into my back pocket.
Keeping god under my gums.
You pull away and shake off the stardust.
Tugging the thread of the religion we wove.
Spinning out like the solar system.
Cutting me like thorns.
Yet beauty always seems to dance in the distance.
Unobtainable like the rings around Saturn.
Like the rose, once plucked will swiftly start to die.
So I will not house you in glass jars.
Or swirl you inside me like marbles in time.
You can bloom and fade on your own as I watch from a distance.
Seeing Saturn return into space.
Remembering how sweetly you smelt that summer’s day of mine.


SWALLOWING SPACE

Black moon wrapped for the one I love.
That one who pulled me back.
You asked me once to shut my eyes.
While you unhooked the stars.
And now I see, in the shaking shadows.
You only planned to swallow the sun.


WIPE AWAY THE GREY

To wake, is to dream.
To find myself lost once more in your eyes.
A product of circumstance.
The small twists of fate.
Hold me inside, hand gripped to my heart.
Keep me in your pocket.
Safe and close.
As you wipe away the grey.


FEELING MATURITY’S PULL

Feel the stranger in the skin.
Bones that stumble into another day.
I wish that I could go back.
And remember the person I hoped to be.
Wide eyed with a smile as big as heaven.
Now it pulls down like guilt.
Watching the gravity collapse every time the sun rises.
And feel these dreams demise.
On a forgotten land of possible.
I see through the eyes now of someone I never wanted to be.
An alien soul who moves from right to left.
Unpicking the threads of good and coughing up a sadness.
I wish I could go back.
Back to being the little boy.
I’d tell him not to grow up if he could help it.
Run back to Neverland.


AN INNER CHOIR SINGS

You do not find it in the brush strokes of the saintly.
The willowing wisps of utterances in cold hallowed rooms.
Light a candle, and see me.
Peel back the bits of Christ to find me.
Swimming in the shallow cells of you.
Awash, in the DNA of God.


YOUR PILGRIMAGE

I love your silver dressed dreams.
Darlings, that call us all to look.
To peek and prod in an unforgiving time.
Hook your hate around my hand, thrown in the bag to drown.
Kittens, pebbles in your pocket.
You call this your pilgrimage.
A racing stumble through our great beyond.
But that was where I found you.
Heaped and tired, all covered in stars.
Can you walk the line?
Can you take some time to change?
Wrap this love around you heart, swallow and then re-arrange.
Your pilgrimage.
You deep mistake.
Your breaking through, my privilege.


FLOATING WORLDS

To lift into a dream.
A sky that fits into your hand.
Let loose like the heartstrings of a melody,
that taps at your soul.
You breathe the air I need to survive.
Blown backwards like a northwest gale.
Billowing underneath these feathered sails.
Crystalize the weight that hangs heavy like the edge of space.
Skimming the clouds of your floating world.
To dive into the air of thought that passes between us.
That leaves me shaking like a night terror.
A heartbeat like a sleep kick.
These strings are made with each joint decision.
Tasselled and tied the rigging of a wandering star.
Leaving my hands covered in stardust.
And lungs of love full to burst.
I go silently into that pastel sky.
Watching the moments as I go.
Lifting off deep into your soaring kingdom.


SARCASTIC SIMON SAYS

Which parade set table are we dressed for?
Candy stars and sweet honey lemonade?
Goldfish trapped in tiny jars.
Blind me now, let’s play charades.
Cheating on the life we try to lead.
Hide and seek with death.
But such a sad face he always wears.
Covering us in black and liquorice lace.
Come skim the jellybean stones with me.
Jump the sugared rocks over the pool of irresponsibility.
We can talk to god at the end.
We can ask him how it went, and whether our game was fun.
Come on, come on!


MOTHER

Out of the dark, like a Pisces rising.
The ship of salvation on this sanctified horizon.
Oh mother, why do those tears of glass never shatter?
Who wipes away those beads when the world turns over?
We hum the hymns in a frantic manner.
Coughing up rosaries like pearls from the sea.
Yet a pain in your heart vibrates underfoot.
Quaking the earth and displacing my faith.
Not in you, oh mother, the salvation in my sadness.
But in a world I find as sticky as tar, and dark as oil.
Resistant to your holy water.
Tis such vanity I make your image so beautiful.
Mirroring the love I have for my mother of body.
The one I share cells with.
Divine DNA.
So I roll my eyes back, and taste the pain away.
Losing your son.
As impotent as God to intervene in fate.
And I pray, and kiss your blessed feet.
Giving up the holy image in my mind.
Loving you for the first time,
as someone who I always knew.


UNDER MY SKIN

To hesitate in your eyes, is to drown a thousand ways.
Swimming against a tide that roars with the sound of heaven.
You conquer me, setting fire to the flames that already burnt to ash.
Falling through your fingers like the soot from Pompeii.
A staining spreads, quickly and delicately feeding my veins.
Your sweetened touch, making my world quiver.
Dancing to a delicious possibilities.
To know you, like I must, breaks all the rules of conformity.
Giving over to the rapturous sound of love.
A melody which your soul murmurs.
And which sinks beneath these bones.
To disrupt the beating of my heart.


QUIET REFRAIN

The rain of time.
A slow drip into my skull.
Quietens the restless bird of my mind.
Flattening it’s wings.
Ceasing it to fly.


 BOY

Unpicking the threads that burrowed deep into the bones.
A tangled web of untruths.
Wearing boots, to kick the butt of the world.
And raise that two inches higher.
Closer to the sun, to let it catch in your eyes.
Able to cry, only when you’re alone.
Stripped and naked, yet not self-deprecating.
Watching the birds from the nest.
With a numbed skin that creases at the corners.
Wallowing in the shallow waters of a dirty pool.
I cannot keep you safe from the wolves.
I can only save myself from tomorrow.

GIRL

A swing between masculine and feminine.
Welcomed into the circus tent once more.
A concrete garden where the clowns come to cry.
My oh my, what a pretty thing. What a pretty scene.
Wearing boots to mark your tread on the earth.
And to raise higher on that pedestal.
Forever wobbling in the winds of change.
Yet how you soar up to the sun.
Licking feathers to keep them packed, aerodynamic.
Keeping the sheen and the shine to show the gold.
And never grow old, for the elephant graveyard never holds your bones.
You only fade into pages of yesterday.


UNEARTHED

At the end, was where she found her soul.
Not spun from lips in a chorus and churchal ring.
Or in the dregs of a splinter thin wine glass.
She did not see it when she closed her eyes at night.
Only monsters and terrors of tomorrow flared there.
Her heart may have heaved, swooned and believed it was there;
under sticky sheets.
In the humid room where the windows steamed.
Octopus arms reaching deep into her being.
No.
She found her soul, at the bottom of the bathtub.
Which is why she rested there.
For an hour, a day, and eternity.
Smiling at finally finding it.


WEAPON OF CHOICE

It’s so hard, just to peel back the truth.
Like folding back the sky.
Propping up heaven while we renovate.
Dusting under the throne, sweeping under the rug.
How much is caught in your eye?
As the verbal rocks are thrown?
Hammering now in your head.
Leaving idealism to another time, another life.
Dropped in the ocean to be covered in coral.
We slaughter the fledgling feelings, new to hope.
Eager to walk in the sunlight holding hands.
We never understand, how to break the cycle.
Going round and round. Like a falling plane.
Spiralling, tumbling, freewheeling to the ground.
You pin the medal of victory to your chest.
Pricking the skin, letting the blood flow.
Straightening your soul, patting your ego on the back.
Mumbling incoherently the art of war.
Driving your tank over the art of love.


INDIGNITIES OF WAR

Now the music sounds better without you.
The sound of rust and avoidance.
A pin of change, held in thy hand.
Explosions in their eyes, are merely the dying stars of hope.
As they drop bombs on everything you see.
All that once glittered was sold.
Packaged and peeled like your skin on the cross.
And we taste the regret each day.
And we forget each pain and stay,
locked in world of static.
Explaining each miracle away.
It once felt like home.
Until the sands rose and the waters melted.
And we looked once more in the back of our skulls.
Picking away at you on the roof of our mouths.
The tourniquets we place over the lands tear.
The crumble and crack of reason.
The pain is the only thing we’re happy to hear.
As we martyr those who walk your walk.
And silence those, with that familiar talk.
Of love.


HELIOCENTRIC DETOURS

A story unfolding at the speed of life.
Unplugged or imbedded.
I think I missed the Milky Way.
Drinking once more from a cup of stars.
Do these words seem familiar?
As they slide once more into focus.
Chewing on your past like a shark in a bathtub.
Filled to the brim with sorrow.
Eyes, that are empty.
Call for tomorrow.
As your moon hangs heavy in your heart.
Blue, like the subterfuge that shrieks past like a shooting star.
Call it what you want, taste it like confusion.
But be sure to rinse you mouth with the irresistible.
And swallow the sublime.


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