Are you there?

Pretty memories slip inside these veins.
Washing you through my blood stream.
You lay over me, thick and heavy.
While I sleep and when I wake.
I hoped to crumble you out of my heart.
Yet you clung on like cancer.
Haunting me.
You evaporate the time when you shook me away.
Dipping our past in acid to burn off the unflattering.
Now you come to me with selective amnesia.
Telling me you love me still.
I smell the alkaloid tinge to those words.
A bruised motive lies underneath.
You were there all along, but failed to hold me.
To reach out when I fell.
When the dogs ripped apart my soul.
Are you there always, watching me?
What did you feel when I cried in the dark.
When the little razor drifted across each wrist like storm clouds.
Would you have moved to mop up the red rain?
Or are you only there for the summer time?
When shadows are your own making.

Lurk

Malcontent to stop me dreaming.
A bitter play that keeps revealing.
Scenes upon a static stage.
The macabre heart for this new age.
For doubt replaces it’s bloody setting.
A pumping organ that keeps forgetting.
That you lurk inside this hazy past.
A haunting ghost that always lasts.
And wades on through our murky trauma.
Pining for a love that former,
took the place you now reside.
And kills this love that I tried to hide.

Skyward pines


Saturday,

Today I went hiking on my own. I went up to the cathedral pines, there was no-one around. The weather played a part as it was raining most of the day. But the trail goes through the huge forests there so it was covered mostly. I waited until late afternoon as I wanted to catch the sun slipping away to sleep, to feel the trees awaken with the night. Creepy and weird I know, but I felt so much at peace. Probably not the safest of things to do, but I can handle myself…at least I think I can. There was much stillness coupled with feverish noises dotted about the place. I was amazed at how high some of the trees climbed, what energy is involved to create this thing that scratches the sky; all from a tiny seed. Nature never fails to amaze me. Such beauty and wonder nestles in those trees.

girl woods night

SKYWARD PINES

Under the trampled feet of the ghosts of the forest.
We lay in the soil, safe for a century.
Soaking the world in.
We turn away from forever, looking into the eyes of life.
Shooting, skyward.
Oceans away from the city of conformity.
An exquisiteness that waivers every day.
At the whim of the winds.
We are the pines.
Skeletons in season, breaking beauty as we trail the atmosphere.
Still as the tomb of tomorrow.
We watch the forest shiver and shake to a human beat.
Still with a taste of god in our mouths, breathing in his breath.
Dancing in the darkness as the world sleeps.
These pines.
Waiting once more to be cut down by those seeking our answers.
To get at the truth, down in our roots.


Taken from ‘Nothing But I Am’ 
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