Argue

What did they tell you about this future?
While your TV played on and you half listened.
This heart you mangled and molded.
These flowers died a long time ago.
Who is to blame?
Distance. Family.
Your fake departure, when your heart wasn’t in it.
I made this too easy for you.
Red letter days and disappointments. Plastic friends.
Those that melt in the heat while the kitchen burns.
Who dries your eyes now?
Lazarus lies, housewives. Shopping that ego.
Choking on the need to be right.
All those lies have now been tagged.
Selfish. Self-aware. Convenient amnesia.
All built on your version of events.
Under rug sweeping, these broken pieces of a person you once knew.
Only you.
As you blur once more into everyone else.

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Sting

The rapid heartbeats within me, shake me like a train track.
You drip through the air like mercury.
Holding your titanium crown aloft for the world to see.
Silently the world waits, as I hold my breath and disposition.
You swim to me in an ocean of darkness.
Bringing destruction that clouds my mind like ink.
Each words carefully uttered, flipped away with an arrogance you wear like skin.
They bruise and dent me, beating me up like a tin can in the street.
Silky words those lips sometimes utter, liked boxed poems and chocolate.
A look that can roll me in sugar.
Not today though.
Now is the time of toxic temperaments.
And words that cut like a knife and sting.
I can’t be immune as you turn your back on me.
So let me cry my eyes out into your ocean;
so you’ll never see them fall.

I see red

My eyes itch and my heart heaves.
Reading over and over.
Line after line.
Pulling me out of traffic, pulling me into your frame.
Surround yourself with good intentions.
A swirling world of your black and white.
Yet all I see is red.
The swan song that you misunderstand.
Plucking my heartstrings for the correct rhythm.
The right sound.
Colour your lines. Careful now, make it pretty.
This is the page we’re on, this is the hymn we’ll sing.
My story snipped down to a footnote.
A sentence that mice can devour.
In your book of course.
What was I thinking?

Swimming to safety

Sat looking for the interruptions, dusting steel.
Climbing through barbed wire.
Coating the shattered glass with honey; that you make me lick.
Boxed up emotions, humming through a phone wire.
Twisting around us, seeping into my bones.
Swim with me in stupidity. Duck and cover until we drown.
They come into our little scene, gravitated by the angry words.
Goody gumdrops, the fall of Rome. The fall of the house of Usher.
The fall between states.
Leaving me here like coins lost down a couch.
Waiting for fingers to rescue me, to touch me deep.
(Please don’t try and tempt me now)
I’m heading in a new direction, so don’t tell me all these dreams are fake.
Sitting still and dodging catapults.
Ashamed to know you lost. Scratching words into me like ‘believe’.
Unbolt me and take me apart. Categorise and sermonise in your hypocrisy.
Shove me back into the truth.
We all go back to where we belong.

Hover still

As you exhale, as you sigh; we float off into space.
Like feathers in the wind, like vapour on a cold day.
Instantly present then momentarily gone.
We are static.
Caught between the back and forth.
Throwing words like bombs, and hurt like rocks.
You forgot to anchor me, or maybe you never wanted to remain.
We twist and turn with the breeze and the change in weather.
The only pattern I can count on is chaos theory.
Managing the unpredictable, practising my problems.
I entertain the ether to see which way the winds blow.
After the hurricane, after the downpour; I close my eyes and drift away.

Hesitant heartbeats

Why do you leave me wanting more?
A burning desire, a pound of flesh.
I don’t know why you’re so mean to me. I no longer hear you down the telephone.
Spiritual static and a ghostly murmurs.
The art of disappearing, begin these tears of mourning.
Come find me, I am there also. Pretending not to be seen, fading to grey.
I’m feeling it my heartbeat. The pounding fury, like angry regrets marching from the past.
You keep this going, all night long.
I used to find beauty in your anger, like a funeral surrounding death.
Black lace and candles.
But this indifference, this distrust and distaste leaves me empty.
Purged and rotting like a shipwreck crumbling in the salty tears.
Can you feel it too, in my heartbeat? Come close, put your hands on my skin.
Don’t you know, won’t you see?
Listen.
It’s my heart breaking.
A tiny collapse like a lone tree in a huge forest of uncertainty.
Reach in, and electrocute it back with your spark of wonder.

Merry-go-round

I am standing still, looking at you,
Your hand in mine, is slipping through.
I stop to shout, to utter a cry.
Your smile and face, they rush on by.
I raise my voice to stop your tracks,
You raise yours, and shout right back.
Back and forth, shots land on the ground.
Both of us nailed to this merry-go-round.